Isaac Chiswesha

Well-Developed Character
Favorite Genres:
Action
drama
thriller

Born n bread in Lusaka. Isaac comes from a family of 9. Of which he is the only boy. As such he spent most of the time in front of a tv and got fascinated by the art of telling stories. He is a Proffessional medical officer with keen interest in breaking in the entertainment.


Reviewer Rating:
Scripts: 1
Reviews: 7

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Recent Activity

Isaac Chiswesha completed a review for
2 weeks ago
DEMANDING VOICES feature
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
Review Rating:

MY OVERALL FEED BACK. WHAT I DID NOT LIKE: a) DESCRIPTION - In the opener. Your told us & did not show us in some portion of your description. For example: You telling us the greystone psychiatric hospital. You tell us about how it used to be a torturing place. I think this should be ommited. Write what we can hear n see in the screenplay. Not what happened. b) CONFLICTS -The conflicts were a bit flat. Yes you set out a double conflict. His fight with his inner demons and the doctor. But I feel the conflict should have been more intense. E.g.. I expected more intense fight between Justin n the voices. For example: they are forcing him to eat the food which he believes it's poisoned. He doesn't obey their command. ( this sounds better). Now his choice not to obey the voice complicates. He is seriously thirsty and hungry. Then it complicate further when he sees a fellow patient that takes drugs on an empty stomach go in syncope. This makes him judge. Take a risk. Both directions he takes can be fatal. He eats he dies or take meds he dies. This intrigues us more and sympathize with our main characters quest to survive. c) STRUCTURE - I didn't like it. I expected the inciting incident and the major turning point but did not see any at the expected time frame. Here is how I could have done. Am not trying to change your story in any way. OPENING IMAGE: - Just like you introduced. HOOK - When Justin witnesses the murder of the patient. @ page 5-10. INCITING INCIDENT - When Justin discovers that there is a list or order on how the murders will be done FIRST MAJOR TURNING POINT - When he finds the paper and discovers that his pregnant girlfriend and him are next. Like that. WHAT I LIKED - The concept and story was okhy. - The opener - Doctor Eric's subtext dialogue and his lie OTHERS - Please get back to me on how you found my review. Contact me: +260975483789 Watsapp or email Chisweshaisaac287@gmail.com Thank you. Continue with great work

Isaac Chiswesha just claimed a review for a script.
2 weeks ago
DEMANDING VOICES feature
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
Logline: After an insane asylum patient witnesses his revered psychiatrist murdering fellow patients, he battles the voices in his head to convince someone in the sane world he's not hallucinating before more patients are murdered, including himself and his pregnant, patient girlfriend.
Isaac Chiswesha just claimed a review for a script.
1 month ago
Cowspiracy Ep 2 television
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Logline: The birth of a baby cow produces hope for a struggling farmer but also an unforseen detrimental magic
Isaac Chiswesha just claimed a review for a script.
1 month ago
Again to Love feature
Genre: Romance,Drama
Logline: A college foreign exchange student unintentionally gets involved in a love triangle between two exes and must decide to let her feelings be known, or let them get back together.
Isaac Chiswesha just purchased a review. Claim it here
1 month ago
THE TATTOO MAN feature
Genre: Drama
Logline: Two half brothers and soul heirs to the Mpezeni kingdom in central Africa who grew up from different worlds must settle their succession dispute in a boxing ring.
Isaac Chiswesha completed a review for
1 month ago
Poppy seeds Part 1 short
Genre: Drama
Review Rating:

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE ¤ At the beginning URI writes on a card to her grand ma. Takes it to the hospital. She looks calm. But however we are told that she was told that her grand ma was seriously sick. It made me wonder if she truly loved her grand mother. ☆ WHAT YOU CAN DO. - Take or leave it. I suggest that you start with a killer. Introduce us to URI. she is calm. Taking care of flowers. May be a gardener breaks the flower pot. She gets furious with him because she loves flowers. Nice punch right? Then she receives an emergency call that her mother is sick so she rashes quickly. That would engage the audience. ¤ In the scene where URI finds CORE behind the house. - I didn't see the image. All I knew was in the backyard but I could see the size, surrounding, was it dark that you can't see? How was it? Did URI recognise her neighbour immediately? Also was so passive in that scene. She just watched them argue on her premises without doing anything. We couldn't see her reaction. It would have been better if you described her facial expressions or better confront Kate. One more thing is that was there a wire fence or opaque kinda wall fense?? - in the scene when she calls the police. Does she see them outside or inside. How does it all happen? Please make it clear. ¤ When her phone rings. She does not answer but we hear the doctor speak. It must have read: Her phone RINGS. She peaks it up almost immediately. It's the DOCTOR on phone. WHAT I LIKED - It's a good story - you tried to give us some conflict - I began to feel for URI

Isaac Chiswesha just claimed a review for a script.
1 month ago
Poppy seeds Part 1 short
Genre: Drama
Logline: A florist wants to win a gardening contest but is sabotaged by her neighbor.
Isaac Chiswesha completed a review for
1 month ago
N feature
Genre: Action/Adventure
Review Rating:

In conclusions: A) follow the rule of screenplay. Dont tell - SHOW. Eg: pg1- The last description read:- As the fight was at its last round, their both managers shouting loudly to advice and encourage their fighter. ☆ You clearly told us but didn't show. Remember. In screenplay you only write what you see and hear. Not what a character thinks. How you could have shown: EG:- A pretty brown woman goes round with a card. The card reads: Round 5. BELL RINGS.NEM and DAVE begin thier fight. Their MANAGERS yell. MANAGER Come on! Finish the fight. In this way you've clearly shown us. B) ACTION - The action is written in present tense. Eg: - Gets the gun and shoots. -Keep action lines short. Powerful. C) CAMERA ANGLES AND TRANSITIONS leave them out. Some transition didn't match. D) THE STORY It was not believable that NEM entered the competition without a drug test. A story must be believable. Also the story may be should have been that the test was done but after that. Dave sent some people to drug him. Then request for a retest after the fight. They find new with drugs n disqualify him. That sounds better. Also the courtroom session were not properly done. I suggest u research on how a court sessions is done and who are involved. Also the story of Dave being killed. Eish. I was expecting Nem to fight Dave in the end to reclaim his title but Dave decides to die. Gosh. Overal the concept is there. But you need to learn a lot about script writing. Read more script. Dont be offended. I just want you to be a good writer and see your story out there.

Scripts

THE TATTOO MAN
Draft #1
Genre: Drama
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Two half brothers and soul heirs to the Mpezeni kingdom in central Africa who grew up from different worlds must settle their succession dispute in a boxing ring.

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