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    1 hour ago Damian Rzymski completed a review for
    The Cosmic Binary Feature
    Reviewed by:
    2.25

    The story is an interesting idea of moving between dimensions and the future even though I didn't truly understand the technology that was capable of it, I only got the impression of the Binary Drive but didn't get it off the page. This is because the script lacks the show don't tell elements you'd expect from a visual medium. About 75% of the exposition comes across in dialogue and not in pictures, and a lack of subtext surrounding all this exposition makes the scenes difficult to navigate. The stories protagonist, James, comes across as passive, not needing to have to make any tough decisions, especially those decisions out of a dilemma that would traumatise his journey through the story. The Assassin was more active because he had his goal, he knows what he wants to accomplish and James wasn't really providing any obstacles for him to want to strike back at James and attack his weaknesses. Everything fell into James lap easily and conveniently that he was able to coast to the end of the story without facing any emotional peril. When Carly died, I didn't feel like there was any emotional closure with his wife. On a positive note, the set pieces were extremely visual and the writing style has lots of promise. I enjoyed reading the action sequences very much.

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    Stefano Pavone uploaded a feature screenplay, 14 hours ago

    In the final chapter of the trilogy, Salvatore and his allies must all stand together in order to thwart Electra Daimler's plans to resurrect the Federation and rule the world with an invisible hand.

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    • 14 hours ago
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    • reviews
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    • 120 pages
    Stefano Pavone uploaded a feature screenplay, 14 hours ago

    5 years after defeating the Sol Federation, Salvatore Pasquale and ARCUS are plunged into a conflict against the Majestic 12-inspired organisation DIVIETO, who are intent on using Miranda Ekerot for their own clandestine plans.

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    • 14 hours ago
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    • reviews
    • |
    • 109 pages
    Stefano Pavone uploaded a feature screenplay, 21 hours ago

    The adventures of an autistic outcast in a world dominated by dark technology and a conspiracy intent on global autocracy.

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    • 21 hours ago
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    • reviews
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    • 96 pages
    22 hours ago Stefano Pavone just joined ScriptMother!
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    1 day ago Chukwuma Amobi completed a review for
    Bop Short
    Reviewed by: Rampota
    3

    Concept is good but could be made better. The script certainly started well. It hooked me but as it progresses, its shortcomings creeps in and that is just the shortcomings of the writer. The dialogue is good but could be better. The action/description is nice but could be made better. The protagonists are interesting. Bruce and Bop clown are outstanding but a few things are out of place in them. It's a comedy script, I get it. It's something no one thought of, I get it. But keep an open mind on this, why would Bruce decide to train a bop clown for anything? Seeing that it could take a hit is just not enough reason. What happened to it before the preteens started beating it? Does it posses anything special? If so, what is it? Or is Bruce seeing things in his head? This is just food for thought. The climax is good.

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Bop Short
Reviewed by: Rampota
3

Concept is good but could be made better. The script certainly started well. It hooked me but as it progresses, its shortcomings creeps in and that is just the shortcomings of the writer. The dialogue is good but could be better. The action/description is nice but could be made better. The protagonists are interesting. Bruce and Bop clown are outstanding but a few things are out of place in them. It's a comedy script, I get it. It's something no one thought of, I get it. But keep an open mind on this, why would Bruce decide to train a bop clown for anything? Seeing that it could take a hit is just not enough reason. What happened to it before the preteens started beating it? Does it posses anything special? If so, what is it? Or is Bruce seeing things in his head? This is just food for thought. The climax is good.


Concept is good. The first page of the script is not so good. It made me want to drop it. The action lines are good but could be better. The dialogue... Well, no one wants to read a giant wall of text. Keep it short most of the time. If it has to be long, make it 5 lines. 7 max. The protagonist seems interesting but you didn't show how interesting he is. Think up more ways to do that. The climax is not good.


Bop Short
Reviewed by:
5

this script is ridiculous, in the best possible way. I'm sure this is supposed to be a spoof of something like Creed, but it feels a lot like Logan, at least the two lead characters do. the dialogue is crisp and real, the visual comedy is hilarious and easily imaginable. the final pages, from Bop getting shot to the end, are absolutely amazing, and heartfelt and emotional and tragic. if I absolutely have to nitpick, this script is going for spoofy realism, so i think the montage should take place over like a few months instead of just a day, because no boxer gets famous in a day, maybe that's what you were going for, the script just doesn't exactly read that way. this is one of those films that might be bashed by some people, but there is a niche of people who will absolutely love it. this is a film I need to see, but probably never will. its so crazy no studio would greenlight it, but its a film that's so crazy it just might work