Raise your script the write way.

Ok, so this definitely one of the best first drafts I've read. It is really good. I think if you take all the criticism you gain, this will turn out to be a perfect script. I think for me one of the best things about this script is that it actually SHOWS and doesn't TELL. I've noticed that problem in so many first drafts, so it's nice to see a writer that understands. I really want to see more from this script, I'm excited to see what else comes of it.

This was an easy read. You might want to have someone proof read it. There were some grammatical and punctuation errors. It could use a nice polishing. You must have worked extremely hard on this script. It could be made into a very good movie. I wish you the best of luck with it.