A former MMA fighter looking to bounce back from an unfortunate event that costs him his career. With a help of some unidentified people, things look a little bit dangerous.
After Nemitallion lost his fight with Dave due to illegal drugs in
“his body”, he disappears and reappears in three years. With
his reappearance he seems like a changed man. With this
change it doesn’t seem like a good change but change for the
bad.
With his meeting with Two he has decided to work with him and
go up against Mr Elbanco, the biggest cartel owner in Mexico.
In conclusions:
A) follow the rule of screenplay. Dont tell - SHOW.
Eg: pg1- The last description read:- As the fight was at its last round, their both managers shouting loudly to advice and encourage their fighter.
☆ You clearly told us but didn't show.
Remember. In screenplay you only write what you see and hear. Not what a character thinks.
How you could have shown:
EG:- A pretty brown woman goes round with a card. The card reads: Roun...
After hiring a genealogist to trace his Nigerian ancestry, a billionaire in the midst of a hostile takeover becomes entangled in a conspiracy which forces him and his estranged son to confront evil security contractors.
When a spontaneous orphan girl’s father figure dies, she along with her lifelong friends seek out vigilante justice in order to discover who was behind it before her and her lifelong friends also get murdered.
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