Michael Kibler

Michael K.

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25
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45
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feature

A Saying in Iceland Draft #1

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When an impromptu trip goes horribly awry, a disheartened aspiring photographer develops a long distance relationship against the behest of his jealous ex-girlfriend.
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MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 21 hours ago

completed a review for

Space In Between Us short
Genre: Drama
Rating: 33%
The concept of going back and forth between the meet cute and the end of the line between them is interesting. This is true in a lot of relationships where people do drift apart. Effectively the honeymoon phase ending and stuck in a rut or the relationship running it's course. This however is a double-edged sword. You attempted to use flashbacks. Flashbacks should be used sparingly and only when necessary, which they were not formatted correctly in the script as well as a few other areas of dialogue lines in action lines. Your concept is solid if you choose to build upon it. The whiplash of constantly jumping back and forth is impeding the flow of the script. I would however cut back the number of flashbacks by combining them into bigger ones or taking a few out together. All of that said, it is merely a suggestion and do with it what you will. Good luck on future drafts and reviews of your script.
MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 23 hours ago

just purchased a review. Claim it here

A Saying in Iceland feature
Genre: Drama,Romance
When an impromptu trip goes horribly awry, a disheartened aspiring photographer develops a long distance relationship against the behest of his jealous ex-girlfriend.
MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 23 hours ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Space In Between Us short
Genre: Drama
A glimpse into certain parts of Sarah and John's relationship, but they start to grow apart.
MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 4 days ago

completed a review for

Frank short
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Rating: 13%
There is a government research facility that is doing experiments on individuals with superpowers or whatever. However, the what and why if the entire story is very unclear. There are characters that have some potential to grow and even develop, but that is cut short. Once again, what are they doing there and why? The world in which they are in is clear as well. Is it an alternate reality? If so why is it that way? To be honest, I was hoping for everything to come together or full circle, but it stopped dead in it's tracks. Maybe this is just a proof of concept. If that is the case, then build up on the world, characters, and everything in between based on what you already have. Answering the what and the why to everything would help you in fleshing everything out. If you want to keep this a short, you have thirty more pages to work with. Good luck on future reviews and drafts of your script.
MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 4 days ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Frank short
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Time freezes when Frank falls asleep
MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 2 weeks ago

just purchased a review. Claim it here

A Saying in Iceland feature
Genre: Drama,Romance
When an impromptu trip goes horribly awry, a disheartened aspiring photographer develops a long distance relationship against the behest of his jealous ex-girlfriend.
MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 2 weeks ago

just purchased a review. Claim it here

A Saying in Iceland feature
Genre: Drama,Romance
When an impromptu trip goes horribly awry, a disheartened aspiring photographer develops a long distance relationship against the behest of his jealous ex-girlfriend.
MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 2 weeks ago

uploaded a script.

A Saying in Iceland feature
Genre: Drama,Romance
When an impromptu trip goes horribly awry, a disheartened aspiring photographer develops a long distance relationship against the behest of his jealous ex-girlfriend.
MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 2 weeks ago

uploaded a script.

A Saying in Iceland feature
Genre: Drama,Romance
When an impromptu trip goes horribly awry, a disheartened aspiring photographer develops a long distance relationship against the behest of his jealous ex-girlfriend.
MichaelKibler
Michael Kibler 1 month ago

completed a review for

To Win Her Back short
Genre: Drama,Romance
Rating: 7%
I hope that this is just something for a proof of concept for a storyline. A protagonist winning a live interst back is nothing new, nor is there anything wrong with it. This only being five pages, there is not much to work off of. This is also very dialogue heavy. This is what kills the screenplay right away. There is no subtext at all. Both of the characters are speaking exactly what they are thinking. This makes for clunky as well as unrealistic dialogue. There is also lack of relationship dynamic between the characters. This just looks like two people having a random conversation. Build their story arcs and use that to drive the story forward. During one of my screenplay reviews someone told me to tell the story in a different way. This in my honest opinion is something that you may need to do. All of that said, I wish I could give you a better review and I hope that the information given in it is helpful. I would be happy to give the review another look on the next draft. Good luck on your screenplay.