Bentley Maguire An Autistic Mobster Story feature
#Crime #Drama #Comedy
By
Hunter
Huiet
Meet Bentley Enzo Maguire a mobster that has Autism. He is going to help the FBI take the only family he ever knows The Donato Crime Family
Awards
Approved
Summary
1 Reviews |
106 pages |
5 years ago
|
Draft 2
A story of an autistic mobster who endures love, heartbreak, and betrayal
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Personally, I get turned off by gratuitous cussing. Seems like every character cusses, even the FBI agents. Most FBI agents are professional. Currently, cussing in the government is reported as a sign of sexual harassment. The old days are gone.
Page 3 – The VO repeats what BM says earlier. This an infraction that critics recognize quickly.
Page 4 – should be ‘none other than’
Page 5 – There is no ‘?’ after ANGIE DONATO’s lines. I there a rea...
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