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IN PLAIN SIGHT feature

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#Action/Adventure #Comedy

A Private Investigator-turned-CIA asset must take the reins on an investigation when the agent in charge becomes an amnesiac so that they can free the agent's captive daughter and stop a worldwide banking catastrophe that could lead to WWIII

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Summary

2 Reviews | 112 pages | 2 years ago | Draft 1
A CIA agent and his asset, a Private Investigator, are seriously injured in a getaway when they are captured while on assignment.

Now in hiding, the asset must unravel the truth about a global banking conspiracy that threatens WWIII -- without the CIA agent's help, as he is an amnesiac after his injuries.

With mercenaries, both foreign and domestic, as well as several government agencies hot on their trail, they can't stay hidden for long as they try to resuce the agent's kidnapped daughter that is being used against him for leverage, as well as unlock the agent's memories so that they can bring down a criminal conspiracay that reaches to the highest levels of government.

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I’m going to say this in the nicest possible way here. There is not a single person that will even reach the one month later part of your script because they will have checked out long before. I do think that story wise your stuff here could be very interesting but your characters, dialogue and overall way of describing action just doesn’t work and comes off as incredibly bland.
I would highly recommend reading some actual screenplays.
HASTINGS and LAWSON dialogs read like the same person. I would make one strong and one weak.

LAWSON
Wait, where the hell did you get
an E-M-P?
HASTINGS
I’m an amateur electrician in my
off-time. Where the hell do you
think I got it?

To
LAWSON
Where the FUCK did you get
an E-M-P?
HASTINGS
I’m, I'm... My dad was electrician
and I pick up a few things from him.

I lost interest at page 30. It like spy does this a...

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