Ask Boppa feature
#Drama #Action/Adventure #Comedy
By
Andy
Rice
In 2054, an apprehensive college co-ed faced with having to write a multi-generational story, enlists help from her Great Grandfather who takes her on a tumultuous road trip that threatens his life and gives her the inner strength to succeed.
Awards
Approved
Winner Draft #7
Summary
0 Reviews |
115 pages |
4 years ago
|
Draft 11
In 2054, Marie, a soon to be college graduate, has to write her thesis in Creative Writing, but also has a job writing in the stream. Wanting it to stand out, she enlists her Great Grandfather, called Boppa by his family. What started out to be a simple interview turns into a road trip that goes awry and a secret that proves true love still exists.
Industry Reviews
The concept is original and fresh. Best of all, you give the audience a character they can see themselves being in the distant future while bringing a nostalgia to the present time.
But despite the 120+ of script, there isn't much to the plot. In over two hours of script, you have Marie taking Boppa on a one hour train ride to Ohio. They spend some time in the train talking and he has a few health scares, but it isn't until the very end when B...
Top Reviewer
Peer Reviews
Your script has a lot of heart, and that's a rare quality, no matter how skilled you are in other aspects of writing. The story itself, as well as the execution of it, is a little cliche. There are also long stretches of the same sort of conceit with Boppa doing something irreverent and Maria reacting to it. In general, Boppa appears to be the more active character, even though his granddaughter is presumably the protagonist. I would try to shap...
Top Reviewer
I really enjoyed your writing and your sense of humor is very evident throughout this script. I also think you structured this story very well and you kept it going at a good pace. However, overall, I don't think the subject matter quite works for a screenplay. While this would be an exciting and funny story to tell at a party, it's a little too mundane for a movie, unless you add in some very profound and moving dialogue.
In order to make it...
I love that this is set in the near future (2054) as it will resonate with a lot of people. The premise of the story isn't unique, but because it's set in the future, and there are so many neat items that the writer brings up, it works well. The main characters of Boppa, Marie, Mia and Rolland flow well throughout the script. In their own ways, both Boppa and Marie can be looked at as the protagonist and the antagonist at the same time. Mia a...
FIRST 10 PAGES REVIEW:
Nothing significant happens in the first ten pages. We get character introductions, but nothing that grabs our attention. Add a scene at the start of the movie, called a HOOK. This is something that captures the themes presented in the story you're about to tell. It can even be independent from the rest of the story. Maybe it can be a small peek into Boppa's past before we cut to the introduction of Marie.
ACT ONE:
Th...
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