Cover Image for A Single Timeline

A Single Timeline short

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#Action/Adventure

A 18 year old Ron, has been raised to protect a single timeline from branching off but his true past resurfaces.

Awards

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Nominee Draft #1

Summary

2 Reviews | 52 pages | 1 year ago | Draft 1
A 18 year old kid, Ron lives in a futuristic city "Trova" where he has the dangerous job of going back in time and preventing unnatural events. During this he learns his none biological father, Richard who is more like a friend is becoming weaker everyday. During a mix up, Ron learns of his true past, which leads him to run away and stumble into a group of time rebels, planning to destroy Trova.
Ron, not liking the idea of war, leaves them and makes a choice that will correct all chaos. But at a large cost!

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Peer Reviews

A single timeline has a great sense of location, the first ten pages certainly captured my imagination. Ron's gritty lifestyle as a ten year old, desperately trying to make a quick buck is thrust in our face. The visuals for these scenes while he tries to provide for his family are excellent. I can't help but feel sad for Ron throughout, a testament to the author's mapping of his arc. Act 2, where he is thriving in his new career flies by, some g...
The script you have written has potential, but there are a few areas that could benefit from improvement. Here are some suggestions for each section:

1. INTRODUCTION:
- The opening scene lacks a clear purpose or conflict. Consider establishing the main goal or conflict that the protagonist will face early on to engage the audience.

2. DESCRIPTION:
- The descriptions of the locations and characters could be more vivid and detailed. Add sen...

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