UNREAL FATE feature
#Mystery/Suspense #Romance #Sci-Fi/Fantasy
When a lawyer is assigned to defend the killer of her long-lost love, her rational mind must confront the supernatural, compelling her to accept what she cannot prove, in order to re-unite with her love. (Please, i would like a woman to do the next review. Thank you)
Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #2
Summary
2 Reviews |
107 pages |
1 year ago
|
Draft 9
Wendy and Hank meet on a beach and fall in love, however, they fail to exchange contact details. Fifteen years later, Wendy is a lawyer assigned to defend an unknown killer of an unknown victim, who turns out to be her long-lost love. Wendy's logical beliefs can't accept the killer's claim that he can communicate with his victim. As far as she is concerned, ghosts do not exist. After she discovers that the two men are brothers with a deep family secret, she wonders if it is really possible for her to re-unite with her love.
Previously titled PEACEWALKER.
Previously titled PEACEWALKER.
Industry Reviews
Overall, a well-written crowd pleaser, as far as love stories go. At the end of the day, you want to bring the inner struggles of these characters forward. Right now, it feels like the antagonist of the story isn't very clear. So you want to bring this out more, so that the script can come full circle
Top Reviewer
Overall, it's a very solid and original idea for a romance/mystery. I found the ending extremely satisfying and very awarding from the audience/reader perspective. Again, what's missing is simply the drama that screenplays call for. As mentioned in the script notes, your screenplay and story read more like a novel, where I can almost see the desire to take up 5 pages explaining the characters thoughts, feelings and intentions. This is an advantag...
Top Reviewer
Peer Reviews
I really like this story. The pacing is beautiful. I suggest leaning in to the paranormal side more and elevating the spookiness in little ways. I like when Hank finds a small pebble in his shoe as a callback to when Wendy finds the heart rock in her shoe- little eerie coincidences. Referencing Taylor Swift, Wendy and Hank follow the “invisible string” theory- that all along there was something tying them together. I wonder if there are ways you...
I enjoyed this story. The main character Hank is likable, but you really don't feel anything for him when he's killed. Would Holly really be that upset about losing a guy that she spent an hour with? Sure they thought they were soul mates, but there needs to be more between them for the desired effect. The dialogue was good, and the story is there. When more depth is added, the connection between the characters can make more sense for the e...
Top Reviewer
There is room to develop this more to make it a marketable screenplay. Hank, Holly and B.B.'s characters and the conflict/love between them need to be explored more.
I had more questions than answers when reading the screenplay. Why did Hank become Peacewalker? What impact does Peacewalker make on communities he visits? Why was Tommy so enthralled with him?
Why does Holly miss Hank even though they spent just one hour together on the beac...
It was a cute story that ties itself up neatly in the end but maybe a bit too easily. Hank's character could do with some extra background, we don't have to know more about him so much but rather show his personality a bit more before his death.
Top Reviewer
I would go see this as a movie for date night. The story moved along at a steady pace. The characters were well thought out and the dialogue was done very well. I would say there are elements of predictability but then there are elements of surprise to balance the equation. The situations came together in a way that was a little heavy handed but overall, I would recommend this story to anyone who enjoys a good love story.
Top Reviewer
