My Ordinary Life television
#Animation #Action/Adventure #Comedy
A charismatic, unassuming, born-again Christian attracts a popular playful sophomore to Christ.
Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #2
Summary
2 Reviews |
40 pages |
1 year ago
|
Draft 2
In an exaggerated sinful world, Semaj a born again Christian is inspired by a gender-studies play where he is inspired to finish and read aloud his Narrative Essay on his testimony in a little theater, getting the attention of a world unsaved sophomore, Sean.
Industry Reviews
No Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
I've been suspending my own judgements on the topics you've covered in the script as much as possible, and tried more to judge this as an actual script, and it can definitely be better. The dialogue is probably the strongest aspect for me, but I really think you should focus on making your main character more interesting, as well as putting more focus on what it is you're actually satirising.
Top Reviewer
Overall, this is an excellent start to a story, but it needs some depth and character-building for future drafts. I wished more happened in the story because it almost felt like a waste of time for 40 minutes since nothing happened. The ending is good, but he needs some reason to get there. Besides, he wants to give a speech. Again, great job on the first episode, and I hope this helps!
Top Reviewer
