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#Comedy #Horror #Sci-Fi/Fantasy

By Lynn Li Tung

Don't Get (B)Eaten At Your Own Game......

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1 Reviews | 109 pages | 2 years ago | Draft 2

##action ##suspense ##animation ##comedy #survivalhorror

A group of (mostly) young adult content creators get booted into a survival video game where if a player gets hurt or dies in the game, the player gets hurt or dies in real life. The only way to beat the game and get out of it is to spend one month in space (the chosen setting) without getting eaten by a rabid space dog (the chosen enemy) or by killing the dog.

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OK, needs work. scale of 1 to 10 I give it a 6

Is the Concept strong/original? No. But the setting is.

Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The logline is fine. The first 10 pages are drawn out Exposition. Could be shorter and tighter.

Are scenes well-written? They are Ok. The whole story covers a lot locations. It would make the script another 10 pages if extreme details where added. No one wants to read a 139 page script.

Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enoug...

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Dale Morgan

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