Wanna See
1

Maria Ep 1

television
By i n
Family,Romance

A European woman meets her online American boyfriend in person but they have to navigate cultural differences.

Approved
Nominee
Draft #1
Peer Rating: 33%
Industry Rating: N/A
2 Reviews | 26 pages | 4 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

In episode 1 Maria gets left by her parents and stays with her uncle. While growing up she looks at american tv and admires the women through the screen and wants to go to America. One day a American guy messages her online and after a year of talking they finally decide to meet.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews


Decent concept is weighed down by dialogue errors; needs stronger storytelling
All in all, this was a decent attempt at a first draft pilot episode for Maria Ep. 1. I would focus more on rewriting dialogue and the scenes to make them more engaged and not as fast paced as they currently are. Good luck!

4 months ago | read more...
Cyle Brooks Top Reviewer

I think you have a lot of great ideas, and once you tighten them up and refine them, you'll have a really touching story.
-At the very beginning I'd give a bit more detail as to what kind of town your characters are in. You mention there are tourists, so I'd describe just a little bit of
what the town looks like.

-Also you may want to give a bit more description to Anna and Luc. You mentioned they were holding blankets and cold, but I didn't realize they were homeless until
they began asking for money. Maybe state that they looked tired, their clothes are di...

3 months ago | read more...
Jonathan Barbour Top Reviewer

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