NYU Screenwriting Student
Hope this didn't sound like I hate it. I just wanna see it at its best and I think it is possible. Like I was saying, there's a lot here; I want MORE of it. I was also wondering the whole time if this was a parody of something. It seems to be edging on that, but doesn't quite do it. I think watching movies of this genre could really inspire some choices for your next rewrites. Or even finding a movie to align this with and make a parody for could be helpful. I think you have a good concept, but overall, I just didn't really get much of a story. But there are a lot of jewels in here to allow for one, so I hope you expand on those! Good work, though.
A finalist in a prestigious playwriting competition struggles with defining reality when the things around her stop making sense.