Once you create a story line for this episode, and we know a little about Connie before they show up. At this point, we know nothing. Once we know her, bring on the family. Everything you need is in these pages. If these were real characters, each with lives, this would be entertaining.

The story is good. The presentation isn't. You don't have to make this longer, you have to make it better. Think about these two as living breathing characters with history and experiences. Once you incorporate that, you'll find a dynamic interesting way of showing this story.

This had one very nice piece, which you should utilize to rewrite this properly. That's Robert asking "What about my fame?" to which the devil should just smile, and then there can be clips of every blues player who ripped him off, including Clapton and Page. You concentrate on the dialogue to tell your story. If you centered the story around Robert, you could have things like Robert and Martha being too friendly and Dave's jealous looks. Think visually not through dialogue. The overall problem is, it's not a horror story. It's the life of Robert Johnson. In the end, if Johnson's in hell being tortured, he's not at a Clapton concert. The movie Crossroads used a twist to the story. You need to find that twist, or make this so entertaining we're not looking for one. That "thing" is sold in that one line "What about my fame?" That's what this is and should be about.

Best of Luck with this. There isn't much to say about this except excellent script. This is a tight neatly wrapped story.