So, I just finished reading a screenplay called "Dibble and Dabble". The genre of this script is labeled as a comedy. I am a huge fan of comedies. When I read the logline line of this script "J Edgar Hoover gives a rookie agent an assignment to bring to justice dangerous radicals...the Marx Brothers.", I busted out laughing and I knew right then and there, I needed to read this screenplay. I am personally a HUGE fan of the Marx Brothers. They were funny in their time. I have watched a ton of their movies and shorts. I love the Marx brothers as much as I love Abbott and Costello. My favorite Marx Brothers movie is "A Day At The Races". The structure of this script is brilliant! The dialogue is absolutely witty and entertaining. J Edgar Hoover was too funny! I never knew that J. Edgar Hoover did have somewhat of a sense of humor. J. Edgar upheld the law. He was probably the most feared FBI Director in the history of the FBI. His lover Clyde Tolson even had some good snappy one-liners. One thing, I did not know is that this script was based on a court trial that happened in real life. I need to research the history of this court trial a little further. I knew Marx had their shares of being in trouble with the law, but I never thought they would end up being in front of the FBI in court. I would watch this movie if it were ever to be made.
Honestly, the logline sounds great! However, the structure of the script was just meh meaning pretty bad. However, the dialogue was very entertaining. The character development is overall ok. One thing that really got on my nerves was seeing the watermark of the software that the writer used which is Fade In. Fade In is indeed a great screenwriting software that is used by screenwriters such as Rian Johnson who wrote "Knives Out", and "Stars Wars VIII-The Last Jedi" Gary Whitta who wrote "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story", and Craig Mazin who wrote that fantastic tv miniseries " Chernobyl" and so many other writers. I'm very picky when it comes to science-fiction. However, some of the best movies are made in the science-fiction genre. The only science-fiction material I will watch is "War of the Worlds", "Star Trek", "Star Wars", "The Matrix", and "Mr. Robot". Other than that, I stay away from the science-fiction genre. Now, am I saying that the writer did a terrible job, the answer is......no! I honestly felt that this was a very rough first draft. Am I willing to read an improved second draft? The answer to that question is YES! Yes, I would be very willing to read the second draft of this script. The characters of this story are very charming. I must admit, Satan was pretty charming in this story. The length of the screenplay is perfect. It put a huge smile on my face. A typical screenplay for a first-time writer is 90 to 120 excluding the title page. Personally, I have read screenplays that are far worse than this script. But hey, every script could use improvement. Could it be made in a feature film? The answer is........YES!
A very entertaining story
Pretty bad first draft.