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Brianna Janes

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Reviewer Rating:
Scripts: 0
Reviews: 1

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Brianna Janes just claimed a review for a script.
3 weeks ago
Brother Margaret feature
Genre: Action/Adventure,Thriller
Logline: On the night of a blood moon, an undead monk comes to a shopping mall to revenge himself upon his vampiric kin.
Brianna Janes just claimed a review for a script.
3 weeks ago
Chain Link (Work in Progress) feature
Genre: Horror
Logline: Teens learn the hard way that if they don't comply and pass on the messages, they pay the price for breaking the link.
Brianna Janes completed a review for
3 weeks ago
McCracken feature
Genre: Crime,Drama
Review Rating:

You have your way with words to make solid descriptions and you seem to be skillful in the art of the writing itself. I fear I can't say the same about the rest. The writing is good but the writer just needs to fine tune some of the basics. The script could use some work is in plotting, pacing, dialogue and character. At the moment, the story is very repetitive in every facet and scenes have no narrative tension binding them together. No story. No stakes. Characters are generic. Poor concept. Stale dialogue. Boring execution. I had to re-read this a handful of times in order to figure out what was happening. Maybe I need to try again but I didn't really understand the progression of the story. There certainly isn’t much to recommend it. Most the characters are two-dimensional and uninteresting. There are a few good lines of dialogue here and there, but not enough to rescue this effort. And the initial pacing felt slow to me. There are some fundamental errors in your script. I recommend running it through a grammar program (Grammarly is good), a passive voice detector (https://datayze.com/passive-voice-detector.php), and punctuation/spelling check. The other general thing is to cut down your dialogue, and be consistent with your voice. There's a lot of expo, a lot of villain declaring themselves and their intention, and you don't really need to overemphasize a lot of that. If their motives are strong, you should be able to, in theory, write them almost wordless if you want to. Hammer out your characters. Cut the cast number by half. Go deeper with fewer. "Writing is re-writing," as they say, so keep going. I feel really crappy writing this, but it is what it is, sorry. Next one will be much better.

Brianna Janes just claimed a review for a script.
3 weeks ago
McCracken feature
Genre: Crime,Drama
Logline: A gangster finds himself in a struggle for power against loyalists to his former boss.
Brianna Janes just claimed a review for a script.
3 weeks ago
The Last Chain Gang feature
Genre: Horror
Logline: When a homicidal monster with a taste for human flesh attacks a chain gang, a former prosecutor sentenced for murder must flee, chained to a gangster he once sent to prison.
Brianna Janes just joined ScriptMother!
3 weeks ago

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