First of all I want to say that your writing is really good, there are no errors and the dialogues are great, it's very pleasant to read your script and the coldness of David is well transcribed. Personally, I think that the biggest problem of your script is the beginning. I really think that it would be better if you showed us the characters before entering the theatre. We don't really know the relationship of the two protagonists, are they married, did they just met. Furthermore, it would be better to have a normal beginning to trick the spectator, making him believe that this is a normal film, it's just a couple having fun and then they enter the theatre. Before that David was acting normally, they were laughing in the street but then the nightmare begins, David's attitude change, he becomes weird etc... I really think that with a beginning like this the spectator will be more surprised and more implicated in the movie because the genre changes. I also really liked the end, when the baby is born he screams and that made me think of a baby that cries in a theater, didn't really know if that was your attention but I found it intelligent. The parallel between what's happening in the movie and what will happen Diane is also good, it gives us a clue about what is gonna happen to her and install the ambience but again, if you're story had a beginning it would be better in my opinion because the movie would shock us even more. The starting of the movie could also be the start of David becoming weird, before the movie starts he is sitting comfortably, talking normally maybe even eating popcorn but then the movie starts and his personality switch, he talks weirdly. Frankly, I don't know what else to say, your script is short so I don't really know how i'm supposed to do a 400 words review, I hope that my review helped you and that you're gonna develop your script more. I'm sorry if my english isn't perfect it's not my first language. Also, i think that you could consider your film to be in black and white, when I read your script I directly imagined it in black and white I don't really know why, probably because I thought of Eraserhead and you said that Lynch was one of your inspiration.
During the cold war a young American who enrolled in the army is entangled in a shitty job in Berlin and wants to get out of this routine.