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Papers, please short

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#Drama #Mystery/Suspense #Sci-Fi/Fantasy

During the cold war a young American who enrolled in the army is entangled in a shitty job in Berlin and wants to get out of this routine.

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Summary

0 Reviews | 5 pages | 6 years ago | Draft 2

#Dark #fantasy #mystery #tarkovsky #art

My primary inspiration for this script are tarkosvky's movies and their very special ambience. I would like you to imagine this script as a Tarkovsky movie so that you can maybe understand it. I really hope that I can get feedback, my english isn't perfect and I hope this isn't going to disturb you while reading it. I know this isn't a summary but whatever, Thank You to everybody that took the time to read my script.

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Peer Reviews

Tired customs officer falls asleep and dreams of a threatening immigrant who run away.

I am not an experienced writer at all. I haven't claim a script ever. but I am going to give my honest opinion anyway.

Is the Concept strong/original?
It's original, I don't think I have seen something similar to it anywhere.

Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader?
Yes, the first few scenes draw me into the story.

Are scenes well-written?
I think the script is a bit short. Why not adding more scenes showing his boring daily...

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Rihab Ibrahim

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