Steven Lee

Steven L.

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You Bring Out The Demon In Me Draft #2

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The fate of mankind rests on a germaphobe in his 70s when all the other residents in a remote carehome become possessed by a murderous parasitical demon.
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StevenLee
Steven Lee 1 year ago

completed a review for

Mad Talent short
Genre: Comedy,Horror
Rating: 47%
Not bad at all, i think more work needs to be done on theme. I think you could cut about a quarter of the action lines without losing any story which suggests your current draft is a tad overwritten. I might be tempted to trim like crazy and use your new found space for adding in more character development. Why does he care so much about these music judes? I liked the stuff at the beggining with him in his personal space, but it feels like more could be done here to give us a stronger idea of what he's like as a person. What's motivating him to want to become a singer? Any maybe that's not important, but what is important is for the audience to feel connected to his want. He wants to be a rock god. He gets turned down. He goes wild and kills the judges. that's your story. so what's it saying? It feels like a comment on the frustrations artists feel. And more could be done i think to flesh that out.
StevenLee
Steven Lee 1 year ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Mad Talent short
Genre: Comedy,Horror
A schizophrenic man loses his sanity after his singing audition for a talent show goes wrong.
StevenLee
Steven Lee 1 year ago

uploaded a script.

You Bring Out The Demon In Me feature
Genre: Horror
The fate of mankind rests on a germaphobe in his 70s when all the other residents in a remote carehome become possessed by a murderous parasitical demon.
StevenLee
Steven Lee 1 year ago

just joined ScriptMother!