John Chrysostom

John C.

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JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Malled to Death (Draft) (ACT I) television
Genre: Comedy
Entitled customers, deranged managers, and after hours hide-and-seek are just a few of the antics included in a typical day for a group of minimum wage employees at a dying mall.
JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

completed a review for

Battle of the Bands (vampires vrs zombies) feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Drama
Rating: 73%
Battle of Bands is a great script with an amazing concept that is set in a post apocalyptic world where zombies, vampires and humans are in an never ending conflict. We start out with a band performing for audience online, after which they part ways as they have chosen different path of life. The script has a frustrating start as we get no explanation of things that are happening, characters throws words like "the peng" at our face without any explanation of what it is or what it does, but towards the end everything comes together. The script is well written and is driven by the decisions that the character make and is not restricted to a unidirectional narrative, even though the goal of every character seems to be winning the Battle of Bands. The world building is done naturally and the audience is familiar with the territories at the very beginning and the script does not shy away from the cruel ways of the world, from skull bashing to arm ripping and heart stabbing it does not hold back and I forgot to mention cannibalism, lots and lots of cannibalism. Amid all this chaos the scripts finds light moment and breezy moments between characters. Though most characters are well written and are given the same amount of attention every character is twisted in some weird way, but some tend to outshine others like Sondra and Willie. The dialogues are well written but none of them stay with you. There are a lot of reveals towards the end that shocks but actually makes sense as clues had been dropped throughout the script, except for one reveal that comes out of nowhere. I just ignored it as it gave the story a Happy Ending. All in all the script is great with a great concept and a great set of character. The post-apocalytic world is cruel and gross in a good and entertaining way. However I felt that the script missed the typical big bad villain I couldn't help but wonder if having a big bad villain would have improved the story or just drive away from the main story, but a powerful negative character would have been amazing. Ziegler and James had the potential to be that villain but it just didn't pan out as their characters had different goals. Which is another example of how this script was character driven and not restricted to the typical band of friends against a evil organization and his head.
JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Battle of the Bands (vampires vrs zombies) feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Drama
A human rock band thinks becoming vampires will bring them the peace and happiness they've never known. They were wrong. But, winning the Battle of the Bands just might.
JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

The Waiting Room short
Genre: Horror
After an alcohol fueled night, a man wakes up to discover he has been kidnapped into a modern day Gladiator ring, and must fight in order to stay alive.
JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

completed a review for

Donner, Party for 2 short
Genre: Horror
Rating: 13%
The script had a really good concept to go on, the logline had me hooked it had got my attention and another thing that got my attention was the length of the script, just one page. I was excited to find out how it was going to cover a story in a single page but the final product is just disappointing. The script tends leave the reader confused with many questions but not in a good way. The script starts out by introducing us to a man who is cooking something on a fire and another man who is hiding in the woods, both of them aware of each others presence. The script has a big reveal or at least tries to make a big reveal that is meant to surprise us, the reveal is that both men resort to cannibalism in order to survive, the reveal leaves no impact on us whatsoever, it is simple because we just don't know who they are or how they got there we are not given any explanation whatsoever. A little background would have been nice, the least that could have been done was to show us what led them to make the choice or just showing how they made the choice to resort to cannibalism. The reveal just made me ask one question why should I care, it is also because there wasn't enough build up or anticipation on what was cooking over the fire. Instead of building up towards the big reveal and creating anticipation we are shown the end result of an event, the destination of the journey but I think the journey that let them to this destination would have been a story worth telling. Just because it is a short story doesn't mean that we cannot spent time with the characters and understand their inner struggle of making the choice between their morals or survival, another interesting aspect could have been the changes in the character's perspective/priority as they struggle to get through a day. The characters doing things that they had never thought or had promised themselves they'll never do. Even for a one page script it does not read well, as I found myself going back to read some parts of the script just to be sure that I hadn't miss something. If the script would have explored the journey of their struggle this would have been a great script to read. All in all it had a good concept to go on but just missed the mark.
JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Donner, Party for 2 short
Genre: Horror
With a limited menu two men must make a very difficult decision.
JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

completed a review for

The Waiting Room short
Genre: Horror
Rating: 53%
With the concept of a dystopian gladiator arena run by a blood thirsty ambitious man that Kidnaps people to use them as fighter that co-exists with the normal world, "The Waiting room" script is strong, refreshing and promising as it tends to draw in the reader, but by the end we just don't care enough.We hooked as soon as the main character is kidnapped and releases his predicament of survival of the fittest. The center of the story is established to be about survival and the things the characters are willing to do for it, it is done as naturally as possible and it doesn't stray from it. We are completely invested in the world that has been created by the writer, but a little detail on how it co-exists with the normal world undetected would have gone a long way. The only major problem with the script is that we are not invested in the characters, we don't find ourselves rooting for any character in particular, like Marcus or Damien. Is Marcus going to make it or Is Damien gonna be the underdog that everyone comes to love, this is not something that is going on in our head. Damien's back story was half baked it was as though he was given a back story just for the sake of it. We are just not invested in the characters to root for them, the only character that kind of intrigues us is the czar of the carnival Caesar with his black eye and yellow teeth, just like the characters we couldn't careless about their dialogue (again except for Caesar's). Lot of foul language is used which makes it feel forced, everyone like a character swearing but it has to be well placed some instance of it feeling forced would be when Damien says "Rocky looking Fuck" or "Suck a dick". As we are not invested in the characters the climax is not as impactful as it should have been. Every other aspect of the script was great, the progression was natural every characters motive was clear "Survival", the actions of the participants are acceptable and justified in the context. Exploration of both the world and the characters would have being epic. All in all the script was good, the concept was excellent, the world established was excellent, characters were not boring and the dialogues could use some brushing up.
JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

The Waiting Room short
Genre: Horror
After an alcohol fueled night, a man wakes up to discover he has been kidnapped into a modern day Gladiator ring, and must fight in order to stay alive.
JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

The Waiting Room short
Genre: Horror
After an alcohol fueled night, a man wakes up to discover he has been kidnapped into a modern day Gladiator ring, and must fight in order to stay alive.
JohnChrysostom
John Chrysostom 4 years ago

just joined ScriptMother!