Cover Image for VOICELESS VOICES

VOICELESS VOICES short

Sign In to see % Rating

#Drama

When hallucinatory voices demand another politically motivated murder, a prolific serial killer fights his insanity to save the sweet young child he's been staking and destined to kill.

Awards

Approved
ScriptMother Award Nominee Icon
Nominee Draft #1

Summary

2 Reviews | 11 pages | 1 year ago | Draft 1
Peter was once a normal guy until a Christmas meal with his family changed him. Like many present-day families, the dinner conversation turned to politics, evolved into bickering and ended in a fight where his loving mom was accidently killed.

Peter had a difficult time accepting the loss of his mom. But, then, he started to hear voices demanding he avenge her death by saving everyone in the world from snake-like politicians who turned people against each other.

The Hallucinatory Voices instructed Peter he had to kill someone wearing a political symbol every two weeks.

Peter obeyed his Voices.

Like every other criminally insane serial killer, Peter expressed zero emotions during his psychotic murderous rampages. His face remained expressionless, eyes vacant.

Every two weeks, like clockwork, Peter successfully killed innocent people and left a snake wrapped around their bodies.

During his two week killing hiatus, a family pitched a tent next to his homeless tent. Feeling physically ill, he spent all his time curled on the ground, staring at Magnolia, a little girl in the next tent who spent her days curled on the ground staring back at him. To keep warm, the little girl always wore a charity donated jacket with a political logo.

The homeless camp doctor heard Peter's hacking cough and during the physical exam realized Peter was psychotic and the voices were keeping him awake, hindering his recovery. The doctor offered antipsychotic pills which Peter accepted.

Over the next two weeks, Peter and Magnolia spent every minute of their waking moments curled on the ground eyeball to eyeball. Magnolia often smiled at Peter only to be met with a cold unemotional stare.

Then, thirteen days after his last killing rampage, Peter returned Magnolia's smile. It was the tiniest, briefest smile but none the less a smile.

Finally, the day of Peter's next kill arrives. The voices demand he kill Magnolia because of her political jacket. Peter obliges. He grabs her hair, pulls back her head, presses his knife blade against her throat. Blood seeps out as the blade slices into her skin.

Then, suddenly, Peter changes the path of the knife, stabs himself in the heart, twisting and turning the knife, successfully saving innocent Magnolia from himself.

Industry Reviews

No Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

This was an easy read. With the political climate in the country, the homeless and mental issues, there's a lot that can be employed in making this a good full length feature. You should try to really bring it all together with what's actually going on in the country today.

Best of Luck
From my point of view, this short story is structured very well, it has a really interesting concept, well-thought-out characters and a painful ending. It's a roller coaster of emotions that does keep you hooked until the end.
I liked it a lot and I recommend it!

Recommended for You

Lana is alive

The first A.I. humanoid states her case in which her sole purpuse is to serve humans and nothing more ....

Trever

A young, black man has his family and life destroyed by corporate greed and now seeks revenge upon those who took what was once so valuable to him.

I PENITENT

Parker grieves the loss of his friend to suicide.

BlogMother

Subscribe
to our Newsletter

Get up-to-date in industry knowledge, Scripts of the Month and more. By subscribing to our newsletter, you'll never miss the best stuff we have to offer.