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SVF: Reborn (Final Draft)

feature
By Cyle Brooks
Action/Adventure,Horror,Thriller

Slaying demons and kicking ass are his specialty.

Approved
Winner
Draft #4
Nominee
Draft #3
Nominee
Draft #2
Nominee
Draft #1
Peer Rating: 51%
Industry Rating: N/A
Draft 4: 51%
Draft 3: 74%
Draft 2: 58%
Draft 1: 59%
3 Reviews | 102 pages | 3 months ago | Draft 4

Summary

SCRIPT 1/3 IN SVF TRILOGY.

After demon-slaying anti-hero Shadow Vile Figure (aka SVF) has taken down and defeated several strange and unusual monsters, Mayor Griffon tasks him to protect his niece, Veronica, as she has become the number one target of the world's most feared enemy: Satan himself.

Contains frenetic strong bloody horror violence and gore throughout, pervasive language and crude sexual content.

Industry Reviews

Overall, your concept is great, and I see the story here. It just needs to be retold. This takes lots of brainstorming and introspective studying of not only who your characters are on the inside, but deep down, what you are trying to say with your script. What is the central idea? To me, the central idea needs to be something like this: No matter how much horror and violence a person commits, love and human contact will always have a shot at bri...

2 months ago | read more...
Script Mother Top Reviewer

Peer Reviews

My overall thoughts is it's a great screenplay that explores the supernatural: demons, zombies, three headed werewolves, etc. I do think you can improve on your character descriptions. For example the Iycan Cerberus; I had no idea what or who that was, so I had to look it up. With a simple character description of the beast, I would've known it was a three headed wolf. Also I do think that SVF shouldn't be skinny, but be built because he kills mo...

3 months ago | read more...
James Odulaja Top Reviewer
As stated before, this being a trilogy, I don't have the entire story. This is also my second review of this. Nothing really changed from what I could tell, however it was a while since I last read it and just didn't see it.
There is plenty of room for character growth, arcs, and storylines to be added and be completed. I think with the other two scripts, it would be fulfilled.
I am trying to give honest feedback with only part of the overall p...

3 months ago | read more...
Michael Kibler Top Reviewer
A decent concept, and one I'd love to see made into an actual movie, but not without a lot of problems. It feels like a lot of the time it's reveling in its own darkness and violence, bombarding the audience with characters who seem un-relatable outside of being violent and foul-mouthed. "Edgy", I believe, is the word. There's definitely a good story hidden underneath all that excess, and one that could shine through with a little extra work, and...

4 months ago | read more...
The script was put together well. The pacing of the story between the dialogue and action scenes was written well. The dark elements seemed common but the overall direction of the story was different from what I have ever read. The action scenes is what made me invested and kept my eyes glued to the script, I wanted to know what was going to happen more and more as I read the story. I was shocked by how graphic some of the scenes were, I kept hav...

5 months ago | read more...
i n Top Reviewer
This was a very frustrating script to read. I wish I could be more positive, but it was borderline unreadable. The characters were dull and uninteresting. There was no plot to speak of, so there's not a lot to evaluate. You routinely introduce locations in your sluglines yet offer us no description. The only thing that is even remotely well described is the (absolutely endless) violence. This is also riddled with odd grammar choices, as well as s...

4 months ago | read more...
If I remember correctly, this is supposed to be part of a trilogy. That would allow for plenty of room for character development, relationship development between SVF and Veronica. As well as the three demons and Satan as antagonists.
An investment into an actual story between the numerous fight scenes would round the story well in giving what everyone has to lose and gain in the battles.

4 months ago | read more...
Michael Kibler Top Reviewer
Your screenplay is almost done. But I feel you need to revisit it once more. Conflicts is what drives the story. The conflict in SVF REBORN is a bit plain. Give us some more conflict. Also your description should be short and powerful.
Example: Satan hangs up without waiting for a response.
This can be simply:- Satan hangs up.
On dialogue: in a scene where veronica is abducted by Satan. I noticed one error. When SVF says" Iam coming to save y...

1 month ago | read more...
Your story reminded me of Wolverine (probably because of the main character's regeneration ability), Lobo from DC Comics (mercenary and bounty hunter). My first thought after reading half of the script was, "I would play a game like that."

You have a lot of animations and special effects in your story, so converting it into a game scenario should not be that complicated. In some respects, you could sneak in some stuff that won't work in a mov...

5 months ago | read more...
Marcin Klinkosz Top Reviewer
This supernatural horror film is extremely visual. As I read, I was able to visualize the characters and battles. Each battle had some unique killing methods which increased my interest. For example, when SVF battled Lycan Cerberus, the ripping off of one head and then the other head was very visual and unique.

5 months ago | read more...
It is unfair for me to review this script because gratuitous violence, gore, and constant profanity never appealed to me, so there is a bias here, I will try to be as objective as possible. The script begins at a tolerable level of violence, feeling campy at some points. Then it seems with every new scene, the writer tries to outdo the previous scene with gore and profanity.

Every character cusses the most vile phrases - even the women. I fee...

11 months ago | read more...
Paul Vecchiet Top Reviewer
Ok, my comment would be filled more with suggestions rather that critics because there were just a few things that I consider I should point out as a mistake or bad decision. Starting with the characters and more specifically the dialogues- all in all good but the fact the many of the characters use so much "fuck/fucking" makes them way too similar to each other. One of the rules of screenwriting is that no character should speak like another cha...

11 months ago | read more...
So, I just read the first draft of a script called SVF: Reborn! The first thing I looked at was the number of pages of the screenplay. The screenplay is 90 pages long which put a smile on my face. A screenplay that is 90 pages tells me that this is a good sign. I say this because a screenplay from 90-110 pages will put a smiling face on the reader. But 120 pages is usually the maximum. A screenplay that is 90 pages is short and sweet! This tells...

11 months ago | read more...
Hunter Huiet Top Reviewer
Great concept. Satan gives SVF superpowers after almost killing him and then SVF turns those powers against Satan and his demons. This was an easy read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The fight scene descriptions were excellent. I could easily visualize what the movie would look like. I think this is the best screenplay I've read on this site thus far. I would not change what you have, other than correcting a few typos. I do believe that a few addi...

10 months ago | read more...
D Scott Mangione Top Reviewer
I enjoy reading your script but I gave you a moderate rating. Don’t let it deter you as you can use this rating to improve and keep getting feedback unless you have something undeniable.

It’s a cool concept that SVF is hired by a mayor to kill monstrous creatures, which makes it quite unique and that is what Hollywood is looking for.

Action, action, action. I like the idea that the hero always fight with baddies. It’s like driving a Corvet...

10 months ago | read more...
Honestly, the logline sounds great! However, the structure of the script was just meh meaning pretty bad. However, the dialogue was very entertaining. The character development is overall ok. One thing that really got on my nerves was seeing the watermark of the software that the writer used which is Fade In.

Fade In is indeed a great screenwriting software that is used by screenwriters such as Rian Johnson who wrote "Knives Out", and "Stars...

9 months ago | read more...
First off this script was a breath of fresh air. I really enjoy the character of SVF and his journey.

Concept: Great concept I saw it as Supernatural meets Spawn, the concept itself is good and well executed. You really get a feel for the world around the characters and this helps to keep the concept grounded which can be hard to do with an idea like this.

Story: It's a first draft and I think I've seen other drafts of this up before? So so...

9 months ago | read more...
Sean Blackhall Top Reviewer
These are just my opinions. Take what you find helpful and leave the rest. I am not sure, but I wonder if there was a prequel to this story. I had a hard time orienting myself to the beginning scenes in the script. I didn't understand who he was, who he was fighting, why he was connected to the Mayor, or the significance of Veronica who turns out to be the Mayor's niece. It was revealed later that SVC stood for Shadow Vile Creature and he w...

9 months ago | read more...
First, it is not recommended to submit a first draft for review. A first draft is always bad. It's just a starting point to rewrite from. At this stage it's difficult for anyone to review you work because you haven't really got it to where it needs to be and its hard for the reader really dig down into where you might be going awry.

That being said it has the basic elements (bar one) that you need for a decent story and the action (and there i...

8 months ago | read more...

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