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SVF: Reborn (Second Draft)

feature
By Cyle Brooks
Action/Adventure,Horror,Thriller

Slaying demons and kicking ass are his specialty.

Approved
Nominee
Draft #2
Nominee
Draft #1
Peer Rating: 67%
Industry Rating: N/A
Draft 2: 67%
Draft 1: 59%
2 Reviews | 95 pages | 2 weeks ago | Draft 2

Summary

After demon-slaying anti-hero Shadow Vile Figure (aka SVF) has taken down and defeated several strange and unusual monsters, Mayor Griffon tasks him to protect his niece, Veronica, as she has become the number one target of the world's most feared enemy: Satan himself.

Contains frenetic strong bloody horror violence and gore throughout, pervasive language and crude sexual content.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

Your story reminded me of Wolverine (probably because of the main character's regeneration ability), Lobo from DC Comics (mercenary and bounty hunter). My first thought after reading half of the script was, "I would play a game like that."

You have a lot of animations and special effects in your story, so converting it into a game scenario should not be that complicated. In some respects, you could sneak in some stuff that won't work in a mov...

1 week ago | read more...
Marcin Klinkosz Top Reviewer
This supernatural horror film is extremely visual. As I read, I was able to visualize the characters and battles. Each battle had some unique killing methods which increased my interest. For example, when SVF battled Lycan Cerberus, the ripping off of one head and then the other head was very visual and unique.

1 day ago | read more...
Kathleen Hof Top Reviewer
It is unfair for me to review this script because gratuitous violence, gore, and constant profanity never appealed to me, so there is a bias here, I will try to be as objective as possible. The script begins at a tolerable level of violence, feeling campy at some points. Then it seems with every new scene, the writer tries to outdo the previous scene with gore and profanity.

Every character cusses the most vile phrases - even the women. I fee...

6 months ago | read more...
Paul Vecchiet Top Reviewer
Ok, my comment would be filled more with suggestions rather that critics because there were just a few things that I consider I should point out as a mistake or bad decision. Starting with the characters and more specifically the dialogues- all in all good but the fact the many of the characters use so much "fuck/fucking" makes them way too similar to each other. One of the rules of screenwriting is that no character should speak like another cha...

6 months ago | read more...
So, I just read the first draft of a script called SVF: Reborn! The first thing I looked at was the number of pages of the screenplay. The screenplay is 90 pages long which put a smile on my face. A screenplay that is 90 pages tells me that this is a good sign. I say this because a screenplay from 90-110 pages will put a smiling face on the reader. But 120 pages is usually the maximum. A screenplay that is 90 pages is short and sweet! This tells...

6 months ago | read more...
Hunter Huiet Top Reviewer
Great concept. Satan gives SVF superpowers after almost killing him and then SVF turns those powers against Satan and his demons. This was an easy read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The fight scene descriptions were excellent. I could easily visualize what the movie would look like. I think this is the best screenplay I've read on this site thus far. I would not change what you have, other than correcting a few typos. I do believe that a few addi...

5 months ago | read more...
D Scott Mangione Top Reviewer
I enjoy reading your script but I gave you a moderate rating. Don’t let it deter you as you can use this rating to improve and keep getting feedback unless you have something undeniable.

It’s a cool concept that SVF is hired by a mayor to kill monstrous creatures, which makes it quite unique and that is what Hollywood is looking for.

Action, action, action. I like the idea that the hero always fight with baddies. It’s like driving a Corvet...

4 months ago | read more...
Honestly, the logline sounds great! However, the structure of the script was just meh meaning pretty bad. However, the dialogue was very entertaining. The character development is overall ok. One thing that really got on my nerves was seeing the watermark of the software that the writer used which is Fade In.

Fade In is indeed a great screenwriting software that is used by screenwriters such as Rian Johnson who wrote "Knives Out", and "Stars...

4 months ago | read more...
First off this script was a breath of fresh air. I really enjoy the character of SVF and his journey.

Concept: Great concept I saw it as Supernatural meets Spawn, the concept itself is good and well executed. You really get a feel for the world around the characters and this helps to keep the concept grounded which can be hard to do with an idea like this.

Story: It's a first draft and I think I've seen other drafts of this up before? So so...

4 months ago | read more...
Sean Blackhall Top Reviewer
These are just my opinions. Take what you find helpful and leave the rest. I am not sure, but I wonder if there was a prequel to this story. I had a hard time orienting myself to the beginning scenes in the script. I didn't understand who he was, who he was fighting, why he was connected to the Mayor, or the significance of Veronica who turns out to be the Mayor's niece. It was revealed later that SVC stood for Shadow Vile Creature and he w...

3 months ago | read more...
First, it is not recommended to submit a first draft for review. A first draft is always bad. It's just a starting point to rewrite from. At this stage it's difficult for anyone to review you work because you haven't really got it to where it needs to be and its hard for the reader really dig down into where you might be going awry.

That being said it has the basic elements (bar one) that you need for a decent story and the action (and there i...

2 months ago | read more...

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