Wanna See
0

Lock Your Doors

short
By Cyle Brooks
Action/Adventure,Horror,Thriller

A group of college students are rudely awakened by a trio of armed home invaders.

Approved
Winner
Draft #1
Peer Rating: 52%
Industry Rating: 7%
6 Reviews | 9 pages | 1 month ago | Draft 1

Summary

Adam and his friends are awakened by a trio of home invaders, all of them armed. Things go downhill as the true plan for the home invaders is revealed.

Contains strong horror violence, terror, disturbing content, and language.

Industry Reviews

If the intention of this short is to condemn the endemic violence of America and the toxic masculinity of frat boy culture then I salute you. And there were some intense action scenes and brutal violence on the script - that part was well executed. But the underlying story dynamics just weren't there. Currently, this is just an orgy of violence with very little story or character development and no greater meaning. I recommend finding clarity on...

1 week ago | read more...
Blaise Hesselgren Top Reviewer

Peer Reviews

I am an armature so take my feedback with a grain of salt. Overall, it was a fun read! The concept felt kind of ridiculous, but it worked in a funny dark way. The action lines were well phrased and the pacing was good.

I was confused by what Jaden's plan was. So he just wanted his fraternity brothers to scare Adam into giving away his trophy, but then Jack accidentally shoots the two girls and it takes a crazy violent turn. why would Jaden th...

1 month ago | read more...
Joseph GC Top Reviewer
So, this script is, how should I put it?

Nuts, its absolutely nuts, and I think that's a good thing. A bloody fiasco all because of some sort of sorority competition. It's kinda weird, but it's fun. I really liked reading this. The violence, the dialogue, it all just made me think "Tarantino" (who happens to be my favourite director).

If you worked at it, you could definitely make this into a feature-length script, with this being the dram...

1 month ago | read more...
Marlon Schwiersch Top Reviewer
I think some action lines are not necessary for a spec script draft such as 'Adam looks at her' / 'Amelia looks up at Adam, eyes squinted tightly.' It takes the flow out the dialogue. It'll work just fine without all the actor direction and redundant parenthetical. Another example of this is 'All of the intruders show their hands, all of them having a
weapon of their one.' (*own* is a typo here) - I think that it can be more listed rather than g...

1 month ago | read more...
I think the opening to this this was really good and it got my interest. Quite a few characters are introduced and we don’t get a feel for any of them at all but its forgivable in this scenario as we get straight to the point as a house invasion kicks off and I feel we can catch up with who they are later. The initial build up of tension up to the firing of the shotgun is good, only slightly dissipated by two characters leaving the room and havin...

1 month ago | read more...
An energetic action short with thriller/ horror tones, this short has a great deal more potential, should it be fleshed out. The protagonists are introduced en media res as a group of largely unconscious college students. This opening is then quickly transitioned to the main plot. In such a short opening sequence, we learn little about the protagonists that would cause us to care for them. This first act could do well to be expanded, as it is...

1 month ago | read more...
Chris Lutzow Top Reviewer

Recommended for You

Vector
short
Two women do what is necessary to survive a pandemic.
A female martial arts instructor takes on a suicidal teenager as a student.
Brandon Draven returns with his older brother from the land of the dead, with the power of the crow on their side can they take down Detroit’s most untamable gang?