Wanna See

Dumb F-cking Animals

By Cyle Brooks

They may be cute, but they ain't cuddly.

Draft #1
Peer Rating: 53%
Industry Rating: 40%
5 Reviews | 75 pages | 9 months ago | Draft 1


Sprinkles, a stuffed unicorn, and his best friend/roommate, Kaw, are both going about their days when Kaw decides to take Sprinkles to a club. Everything is going well until a trio of vicious animals attack the club. Before they know it, Sprinkles and Kaw find themselves on the run as one of them is being targeted for an experiment called "Project Sugarcoat" run by a mythical madman named Dr. Chimera.

Contains pervasive language, strong crude sexual content, drug use and bloody violence.

Industry Reviews

Overall, it's a funny, over-the-top concept that I think audiences will appreciate. The story itself needs more dimension. If the plot and dialogue don't match the creativity of the concept, it will ultimately fall flat. There's definitely room for this script to grow.

3 months ago |
Script Mother Top Reviewer

Peer Reviews

I hope the dirge of notes isn't discouraging, I think everything you wrote is good, these are
just some ways I think you can make your story great.

You do a good job quickly establishing that even though there are talking animals
this is not a kids show (if the title didn't give it away already). F-bomb on
the first page, murder on the fourth.

Pg. 4
Love the contrast of a cutesy unicorn and stuffed animal crow working out and smoking...

9 months ago |
Jonathan Barbour Top Reviewer
Overall this was a really fun script and a really clever idea. With this type of creativity, I can definitely see a collaboration on an animated script if that’s something you’d be interested in. I enjoyed the way you told this story. I really felt for Kaw at the end with his mom. Oh, the part with the threesome lol, it was interesting to read but if I’m being honest, that part can be fully removed from the script and it wouldn’t make a differenc...

8 months ago |
It needs to be redone. The opener had to many description errors. We don't really know why lizard was killed and how the story moved forward. Law & sprinkle were not described. We don't know if are human or animals or...I don't know.
The description were long but lacked that powerful imagery killer sentences.
The entrance of a flash back after the kaw & sprinkle scene is not fully understood.
The sounds wear not capitalized.

4 months ago |
Hope this didn't sound like I hate it. I just wanna see it at its best and I think it is possible. Like I was saying, there's a lot here; I want MORE of it. I was also wondering the whole time if this was a parody of something. It seems to be edging on that, but doesn't quite do it. I think watching movies of this genre could really inspire some choices for your next rewrites. Or even finding a movie to align this with and make a parody for could...

3 months ago |

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