Wanna See

The Hunter

By Cyle Brooks

Some legends are too scary not to be true.

Draft #1
Peer Rating: 51%
Industry Rating: N/A
9 Reviews | 10 pages | 1 year ago | Draft 1


Michael and his friends decide to go on a camping trip to a place where people don't dare to go because of the mythical legend known as "The Hunter." But little do Michael and his friends know that some legends are too horrifying not to be true.

Rated R for horror violence/terror.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

A poorly written script that has no story, least of all a plot to work towards. This redundant's any comment to structure, concept, pace, character, dialogue, etc. As the reader would never the less read the script through to the end... least of all page 4, max. I, unfortunately, committed myself to have to read it through. It's clear the writer put no effort (self-pride) into this at all, and the writer needs to realise that; Then why should the...

1 year ago |
The first half felt like a cliche urban legend camping horror movie. The characters I think could've been written better, because then it would make it easier for the viewers to care about them when they die. But the second half made it way better. Just reading I can see how dangerous and scary the hunter is. Also as a gore lover, the brutal kills really helped. Some other things I liked, I like the dialogue between characters, reading it, I can...

1 year ago |
Marlon Schwiersch Top Reviewer
I really enjoyed your story, it was a fun and breezy read. Here's a couple of notes.

Pg. 1
I liked your opening scene description, but from what I've been told by writers
much better than myself, you're supposed to keep the scene description more sparse.
I believe this is so the directors are not hampered in their creative vision
when adapting a story for the screen.

Pg. 2
How is the audience able to tell that the picture of Michael...

1 year ago |
Jonathan Barbour Top Reviewer
Story wise, I think you have a fantastic concept. It's nothing new but at the same time, it's one that never really grows stale. I think people will always enjoy watching teens die in horrific ways. However there are a few things that you need to work on.
Your dialog is very stiff and unnatural sounding. The conversations do not seem like ones real people would have. Try reading them aloud when you review it yourself and see what I mean. Very st...

1 year ago |
Grant Miller Top Reviewer
I thought your script was fantastic and well executed, and 10 pages have been well executed. I like the part when Phil pranked May by pretending to be flesh and brain eating zombie, and it gave her a heart attack, then the Hunter came and killed them instantly, with a bow and arrow. It was horrifying to me but it was actually fun.
There might be some weaknesses in your script, with as one example, but I cannot detect them.

It may be short bu...

11 months ago |
You have a nice short but it feels a little bit like two stories stapled next to each other and don't quite feel conjoined. Its partially because the first scene goes on for 3 and a half pages. You need to trim that down 1 page. Fortunately all you really have to do is trim down some of the descriptions, I left some additional notes to help with that.

So Michael doesn't really have an arc just yet in your short. He's depressed, then he's wit...

11 months ago |
john M Top Reviewer
Well, starting out here I have to ask the question that will annoy you. Is this supposed to be a cliche slasher short. There is nothing really special about it to me. you describe things well and the kills are, kind of, interesting, but this feels like it just should've started out in the car with Michael looking at a picture of his father or some picture in a wallet. You took way to long in my opinion to get to the good stuff or you set it up ki...

11 months ago |
Overall, the short was concise and quite good, as far as the actual writing is concerned. The part that's lacking is in the story but as a good writer, it should be easy to remedy that. Right now, the short is more like a scene out of a movie. The short doesn't really amount to anything as the characters are disposed of like spoiled food and Michael's father is repeatedly brought up but the story never really touches on its significance. Also, th...

6 months ago |
Ulysses Macargen Top Reviewer
The fact that it's only ten pages makes it over before it begins. If you want to keep it a short you still have thirty ish pages to add a lot more in character development in story.
I'm personally not a huge fan of slasher flicks because of the lack of character development of the antagonist, or something that feels forced or useless. But, I feel that you can develop something with them as well as the other characters to make it much better.

6 months ago |
Michael Kibler Top Reviewer

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