Alternative (Rough Draft)
After getting fed up with evil winning in the end of horror movies, a man decides to take matters into his own hands.
Richard Stevens, a middle aged engineer and horror movie fanatic, has just finished watching yet another horror movie, with his best friend Josh, where the villain wins. Getting tired of horror movies with the same cliched ending, Richard creates a machine that allows him to enter the movies and give the villains the punishment they deserve.
R for sustained sequences of strong bloody horror violence and gore throughout including disturbing grisly images, pervasive language, crude sexual content and nudity.
Right now, your script is mostly a spectacle of violent, adrenaline-filled action. However, there is little to no connection between the action that takes place, and the underlying story you wish to tell....
I would also...
Concept: Yes. It is very original to me. It is huge. It's interesting. It sparked my curiosity the moment I read the synopsis. It has big written all over it. However, somethings do not add up. I will get to that in a short while.
The first ten pages neither drew me in nor bored me. I just wanted to see what happened next. In the first page, Richard should be doing something to suggest to us that...