by Cyle Brooks
107 pages
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Overall, a very entertaining and thrilling read. The setup is very heartwarming, and you give the audience a reason to see Jeanie's story through to the end. I would definitely rework the angle you're taking with the massive twist at the end. The context and reasoning behind Danny's betrayal needs to be worth the shocking reveal. The climax is well written and very action packed, but it needs something more behind it.