by Cyle Brooks
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This Screenwriter just didn't care it seems. I found the jumping around confusing and didn't know if the black king was good or bad, Matthias seemed powerful yet not. The whole thing just made me dizzy and bored. I wanted to know how this all started, if it’s a prequel, it doesn’t seem to show background on anything. I never read a story that had a non-existent thought process. I hope that there is more to this and you didn’t just write this for reviewers to give bad reviews… Upload a second draft and put in more effort…. Jumping around is fine, but not in every scene, if you can call them scenes. I need more, The end made no sense because the beginning made no sense and the middle made even less sense… Matthias is upset that his family is dead, but says the it was three different characters fault. This is just a no for me.