I enjoyed this story and it was an easy read, obviously you have skills. I didn't realize it was a TV pilot until after I finished it, I thought it was a short. Either way I like the imagery of it being in purgatory and the mythical beings including your descriptions because I am a fan of all things sci fi and fantasy, period. I don't know about the long haul on the TV series idea because it seems you have set it up for most go to hell from that point and I am not sure how long that would hold my attention, sad stories all going to hell. But hey I don't know your long term vision and as said I like the story you wrote. The character Levi is a sad demon it seems longing for love and longing for a better win rate that seems impossible given the story I read and he has to continuously bear that and has become suicidal over it all. Maybe the way to resolve that doomed fate vision is to add a case he miraculously wins after the one he loses? Just a thought on that idea but I think without doing that the whole long haul is relentlessly sad and depressing for a TV series. That's what I am left with after reading what has been written thus far. I liked Hannah, Nova and the prosecutors you described and overall I had zero issues with your writing. It is creatively written with all the descriptions so the reader has the total vision without anything necessary being left out. I watched this movie by reading your script so I think you nailed that part. You also have all the rules of script writing down that is obvious and cheers to you for that as well. This might make a good feature if you can write it out giving Levi something big as his next case that as said, in the end, he may or may not get the win. Once again, just a thought on it. Good luck and write on...

The story is interesting and I did like it overall. For a bit I thought I was reading the dialogue of a stand up act, then I thought it was a stage play because it reads more like that then a movie script to me. You will need to look at other scripts and check out online videos etc regarding the formatting of scripts. You're script has no script formatting in it at all. Don't give up on this just work on it including another edit pass because like most of us, there are the little typos and as one publisher told me and I think it was very well said, they act like stones in the road to a good story. Editing sucks but it needs to be done. If you reformat it and put it in true script form there's hope for this one. Or you could make it a stage play because it seems suited to that but formatting needs to be fixed for that too. Good luck and don't give up.