It starts off slow paced, but okay. There's not a lot of attatchment to the lead person.
I noticed a quirk of the news cast. No newscaster would ever say after a word from our sponsors...... Another example of awkward wording. Paraquote "Should I press this fire department button?"
If I'm scared I don't ask should I load this cylindrical shell into this 20gauge? No sense really. I mean from a realistic stand point.
If Frankenstein tracks me down and is closing in I don't say Hey Robbie grab that shovel! Wait, who's Robbie?..... I mean Jack.
There's nothing that attracts me to this guy's stuttering. Malcom. I want to punch him in the face for seeing a vision now.
Another: Joan....... you're going to die. You're to die. You're going to die. I'm a little confused.
I dont really get it...... These people aren't asian? Where is the setting? Tsuburaya? Japan?
It's ridiculous. Why all these did these people turn into two year olds all of a sudden? I don't know but the dialogue sounds really fake, especially by the one most afraid. But-but-but, this ain't convincing me they are really scared. What is he really really scared?
Joan seems scared in her own right a real scare. And the others simply chime in like it was a talk-show. And Malcom is bat-sh*t bananas scared. Doesn't ring a bell. I guess the entity is convincing us of freedom-of-choice as this is a real entity...... Choosing to evenly ramp up fright between people they interact with. With 3 split personalities. Like egss in a basket. Or something.
There's simply a snake that groans and comes out of a hole in the Honda building.
Someone quotes Revelations a Christians book, then the writer mixes a comment about Vishnu has come. That's Indian.
Everyone sounds like a bunch of rogue Hallmark-card making bots running loose.
Flow is taking a nap. There's no snap, crunch, grain, grit, sincerity, etc.. To the characters. They're all on PCP. Because they're entertained with this one snake.
They don't jive about how silly it is, why, no, they're scared! The writer has no clue how to convince people when it comes to religious reverence made by these characters how to make it sound authentic. They just yelp out their revealations as if they were Frankenstein with a cold finger on his back.
Everyone phrases things in an impossible way or have the most horribly Korean speech impediment known to date.
For example. If there was a big storm, people don't say: There is a big hurricane of magnificent size heading for us, this city, my God. Hmm, what is the size. I don't know but it was big. I hope everyone is safe. Provisions are being secured now for the city of blank.
Saying everything perfectly from a logical epicenter of facts doesn't sound very authentic. Or imitating reality at all.
Now we have the size, 0.8 miles. Hmm. That's pretty big. --This isn't woven in any random pattern as would be in life. This dialogue could've come from the walking trees in Lord of the Rings. Whatever.
"They're dropping bombs on American soil? That hasn't been done since the civil war." Well what about training drops? Making these lines seem non-existent. Why not add public?
Daniel looks around then he says a year does change things. Which implies the interior of the living space. But then he says you think changing your place and plates cn keep me from you? How?
How does he know how to track people with their car plates?
The whole story is on rails. Nothing flows at all. Just cliches.
I guess we are all subject to be humiliated when a 600-foot snake wraps around pur buildings. Or a big orangutan, or zebra.
The newscasters say we'll be right back. But they don't say this in reality...........
Cliche expressionless emphasis for this type of genre writing. Somehow everyone is convincing us of sincerity by talking in a way they would never..... How? That doesn't sound sincere..... Or does it?........
So if a pink rabbit popped up in my room and started giving me commands I guess I have to agree. It's a pink rabbit.
"Joan looks at him, confused, and runs over to him. He hands her his lighter, and she confusedly takes it." What a picture. I guess this writer doesn't know how to paint a picture. But I'll forgive them since this is an accurate prediction of the future.
It shuts its mouth, and a GURGLING, horrific CLICKING fills the air.
Finally, it opens its mouth, and ROARS furiously.
I guess if it's horrific clicking I'm convinced. But I'm not. As it still has to conform to the laws of probability. But if God makes it whatever he wants why not make it theatrically logical? Well, I guess the author gets a get out of jail free card their whole script. Because it isn't bound to any rules.
I always wanted to hear about a roaring snake........ Just never knew it. Not.
The monster lays itself across black rose, still. It looks up, and gives a loud ROAR.
I thought you knew I could do that? No? One more. No. I'm done.
This script is a rhinocerous of overacting. Everything seems forced. The fiend was poorly constructed. It couldn't just hiss? Like God made it? Why not. Though. Why don't it dance with a pink tutu? I guess that would be okay too. Did you see that snake with the pink tutu? Yes....... It's aweful. It was 1500 feet long. I know. Horrible. Well we're sinners. So this is reasonable.
There's a flashback of kids, Joan and Malcom. So, now Malcom can sound just like a kid? Why? Doesn't make sense. The reader tries convincing us that random unplacable fright is the most palpable integer to captivate. But, it isn't. Maybe. It. Is.
Hmm, I see. There's a lot of fright there, and magnificence. Well, I dunno.
Unacceptable as a script. I don't know. You be the judge. Hey. If there's a large snake? Is there also a large mouse? I think this script took ppace in a lare aquarium.
