The concept of the story is compelling as it is something people can relate to in our current circumstances. Although not completely original, this one mimics the real world. The pacing was smooth minus a couple spots where it seemed we were missing a valuable scene.
While the concept is intriguing, the story lacks the luster it needs to shine. There is no rise and fall action, no conflict or climax. There was no push in the story with some parts that don't seem to fit in with the idea. For example, the computer smashing on the floor. While this could happen, it seemed far fetched even though later it was intertwined with Stacy's need to talk to her brother. But again, asking her brother proved to be no conflict, even though it was implied he wouldn't let use his computer.
The characters help make the story robust, each character in this story has their own personality. But their development was understated. We come to learn that Stacy's mother died because of the virus yet she shows no emotion at having lost a mother. Instead she acts as though it doesn't matter to her. Which, if it doesn't matter to her than there needs to be some development as to the relationship between mother and daughter.
The same can be said about the father. He laughs and jokes as though he doesn't miss his wife at all. The only member of the family that seems affected by the mother's death is the younger brother. Maybe there is a tear in the family structure, in which case this would need to be more developed in the first episode to capture the relationship between each of them.
There is also a bit of confusion between Martin and Piper, most importantly which one is the boyfriend. The first scene with Martin we get the impression he is the boyfriend, but when they are at Stacy's work it is mentioned by Jane that Piper is the boyfriend. It is possible that neither is the boyfriend, but it is implied that one of them is.
The dialogue is pretty strong, the language used by teens and adults is clearly visible. Although Aaron's dialogue almost sounds more adult than a 12 year old who's afraid of everything. Again, we still have the lack of emotion toward the mother's death, which does have a pivotal moment at the end.
Overall the structure of the script was good. There were a few time jumps which was confusing, and then there was the deal with asking her brother to use his computer and whether Stacy could interview him. A scene where she talks to him about it would add some flair to boost the ending.
