Shaun S. Charlton

Shaun S. C.

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In No Dark Corner (Prequel) Draft #2

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A student is introduced to the new world of forensic science, on the cusp of the French revolution
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Shaun S.Charlton
Shaun S. Charlton 2 years ago

just purchased a review. Claim it here

In No Dark Corner (Prequel) television
Genre: Crime,Drama,History
A student is introduced to the new world of forensic science, on the cusp of the French revolution
Shaun S.Charlton
Shaun S. Charlton 2 years ago

uploaded a script.

In No Dark Corner (Prequel) television
Genre: Crime,Drama,History
A student is introduced to the new world of forensic science, on the cusp of the French revolution
Shaun S.Charlton
Shaun S. Charlton 2 years ago

completed a review for

Spiked television
Genre: Comedy
Rating: 60%
Straight off the bat, the wall of action paragraphs is really disengaging. I seem to be repeating this a lot lately, but the one piece of advice I've never forgotten since it was given to me, I'm about to give to you: every time you press 'Enter', the camera moves. It really is your best friend in this kind of situation. The first page really is far too crowded -- which I will illustrate in a moment and should be closer to 3. I've had to read the first few paragraphs more than once because they are so dense that even you have lost track of what it is you're trying to say. I'm not going to rewrite the whole thing for you but to make an example of your first paragraph in my writing style: EXT. ROOFTOP - MAKESHIFT DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT It's ALEX (29, muscular but insecure) and LORENZO'S (29, louche) housewarming party. They dance the night away with 2 other couples, the paraphernalia of a party going the distance around them. Then it gets confused. Is Mouttxt (ridiculous character name by the way) dancing with Betty or Emily? Or is Emily dancing with Betty? Why do Solange and Ma not have a proper character introduction? There's a few little grammatical/typographical errors on the first page. And there's an errant apostrophe in "pivot's" and you can't subvert someone's gaze. You mean "divert". I'm sorry I didn't "get" this, but the basic errors just flipped me out. But let's finish on a positive. The saving grace is the dialogue. It feels natural, which isn't easy. Redraft it and I'll update my review.
Shaun S.Charlton
Shaun S. Charlton 2 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Spiked television
Genre: Comedy
The unravelling of a rental scam set by two inexperienced con-men when one of them falls in love with one of their tenants who knows them and has been plotting her revenge against them the moment she figured them out.
Shaun S.Charlton
Shaun S. Charlton 2 years ago

just joined ScriptMother!