Phillip Lopez
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A headstrong biochemist must survive an island-wide physics/genetic experiment, while a group of flamboyant musicians on the mainland must survive the ongoing consequences of that experiment.
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Phillip Lopez 5 years ago

completed a review for

Varkazana Ascension cover image
Varkazana Ascension feature
Genre: Horror,Mystery/Suspense
Rating: 53%
I want to start off with a brief disclaimer. This is my first review so if it doesn't meet your standards, I understand. If you decide to ignore this entirely, I understand. It's your prerogative to either accept or dismiss the critiques of another; no matter what you do, however, you'll still have something to read and contemplate. My understanding is that the wolves were trying to guide the humans on another path than the one they were currently on because it is the seven's task to guide humans. But they chose to do this by...killing a bunch of people? I appreciate the brevity of xenophobia and racism and the central focus around that. Unfortunately, I'm unsure if this is what humans must be punished for. What are the wolves really trying to accomplish? I appreciate the slight in-group infighting (ex. Supatra and Jason and Langren vs Antonio), but I wish there had been more of that. Langren was bought over too easily, perhaps she could oppose the pack more (perhaps a difference of ideologies?). Supatra's beef with Jason was also too easily mitigated, in my opinion. She's seemingly won over by his charm instead of being thoroughly convinced that his ill behavior is actually warranted (as a reader/viewer, I'd want to better understand Jason's motivations more clearly). This ties into the biggest problem I have with the manuscript: it doesn't go far enough. I feel like the boundaries are sort of being tugged at without being ripped apart, if that makes sense. Our emotional heartstrings are being pulled at certain points (Langren talking about being a mother, Nia's reunion with her mother, the rampant racism in society and media) but those moments are too infrequent or lack a certain sense of originality. By this I mean the emotional levels are too surface level, and I feel could dig deeper. Antonio could even be explored deeper as the alpha. Most of the elicited emotions derive from the horror sequences (the transformations and human deaths). As a reader, the only wolf character I found myself caring about was Langren because she seemed reasonable when no one else did. Perhaps I misinterpreted the characters or your intent--maybe you didn't intend for them to be likable--but this is how I felt. I appreciate the overarching theme of your story and the originality in a werewolf context, but I'd challenge you to take another look at that originality and really try and make it stand out from the rest of the werewolf genre. Great job.

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Phillip Lopez 5 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Varkazana Ascension cover image
Varkazana Ascension feature
Genre: Horror,Mystery/Suspense
They were once sentinels that protected humanity. That era is over. The werewolf apocalypse has begun.

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Phillip Lopez 5 years ago

uploaded a script.

Deity cover image
Deity television
Genre: Horror,Sci-Fi/Fantasy,Drama
A headstrong biochemist must survive an island-wide physics/genetic experiment, while a group of flamboyant musicians on the mainland must survive the ongoing consequences of that experiment.

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Phillip Lopez 5 years ago

just joined ScriptMother!