Firstly, I LOVE the concept, a man travelling into horror movies to change the ending and the monsters escaping into the real world. Your character development is absolutely spot on and the story is great. But there is one thing that you have to work on, the Dialogue. Your characters swear like James Rolfe of the Angry Video Game Nerd was cloned 300 times. I would limit the swearing a lot. Your action lines are also near perfect. I would also think that your film would work well as a PG-13, this being how your film would likely be the most successful, that would involve lowering down the blood and gore and making swearing much more mild. It’s your choice. My synopsis Richard, a horror movie addict, gets fired from his job by Michelle, his boss. While unemployed, Richard, with the help of his friend Josh, travels into numerous horror movies to stop the victory of evil. But when the monsters escape from the movies, Richard and Josh have to fight the monsters in the real world. After destroying the monsters, Richard gets his job back from Michelle. My logline Richard travels into movies with a high tech machine to stop evil from winning. Here are some tips I put in my reviews. 1. Make sure you have fleshed out the main characters personality well enough, giving them good and bad traits. 2. Always make your characters feel as real as humanly possible in your screenplay. 3. Create suspense in your story by slowing down time and thinking of each new line as a new camera angle. 4. Compare your script to others of the same genre and nature. 5. Map your main characters arcs to every major plot point in your story. 6. Attempt to force your character into action by the end of act 1. 7. Think of theme like you would an argument. The protagonist should start on an unknown side, your antagonist on the Bad side and move the protagonist onto the good side. 8. Not all scenes should be protagonist vs antagonist. In reality, some scenes are about building character development and revealing information 7. Try and make your character likeable at the beginning or early on in the story. 8. Try and make your character make decisions for you 9. Give your characters compelling dialogue 10. Try to Think like an actor and give your characters points of view.