I think there's quite a bit of work that needs to be done on this script and the characters. The concept is decent- girl's night out gone wrong. Even though it's been done before, I think it's a good framework for an interesting story. The structure is decent as well although I think the entire thing should take place inside the club. The intro scene is unnecessary, and it could be interesting to have the whole thing take place in these different areas: main room, VIP 1, VIP 2, bathroom, etc. Then you could really describe the atmosphere of each room and it could be kind of surreal, like the seven layers of hell or something. Story-wise you need to strengthen your central conflict. It seems to me that it's mostly the jealousy between the two main girls, but it's all just a little unclear. Also, the major climax of the short is when she gets punched by a random creepy guy and it feels like it doesn't have a whole lot to do with your central conflict.
This brings me to your characters and unfortunately I think they're hard to connect with. They come off as mean, jealous, and gossipy right away so I don't really like them or care about them that much. Give at least one of them a "pet the dog" moment or some relateability factor that will help the audience identify with her and root for her. We absolutely need to be rooting for her when things start to go wrong or the story will end with the audience feeling nothing.
Also, you need to differentiate the personalities of your characters. Ina seemed a bit different and was honestly the most likable character, but she's only in the fist scene (I'm not even sure why she's in it at all), but the other two seemed similar. Maybe Alisa is more timid and Ivona is more take-charge, and one is rich and one isn't, but I would amplify these as much as possible and not rely on just those things to differentiate them. They should speak differently than each other, and have individual quirks that make them seem like real girls. The dialogue otherwise was pretty good, it seemed natural and true to the age demographic.
Overall I'd first look at your storyline, remove unnecessary expositional scenes, hammer in your central conflict, and relate it to what's going on around them. Then I'd develop your characters. Who are we meant to root for/identify with? Are we supposed to hate them both? And if so, then what is keeping us engaged with the story? THEN sharpen up the dialogue and make the characters sound different from each other.
