Lily Drummond

Lily D.

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LilyDrummond
Lily Drummond 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Wild Thing! television
Genre: Family,Comedy,Action/Adventure
4 kids with newly-gained superpowers defeat a maniacal supervillain and his dim-witted assistant.
LilyDrummond
Lily Drummond 4 years ago

completed a review for

Brother Margaret feature
Genre: Action/Adventure
Rating: 33%
Overall, it’s really not a BAD story. It just needs a bit of work. I also am going to preface this by saying I am a DRAMA screenwriter and director, so this may be biased towards the action genre. Firstly, I think you need to really sit down and figure out your THEME. Your characters are good, they’re not necessarily lacking anything as such, but there needs to be something that drives them forward other than just character actions. Your characters drive plot, which is good, but there needs to be an overarching theme to drive the characters. All I can see from this is a 99 page battle between a family of vampires. But that’s good- it gives you something to start with. Run with this theme of ‘family,’ and perhaps, ‘chosen family,’ because essentially, at the end of the film, that is what Margret chooses. He chooses this family of misfits over his real life family. But the issue is, there isn’t enough weighing on this decision. We know straight away that he hates his family as soon as he kills Zealous! Margret needs more of an internal battle in order to give the audience something to care about. Because to me, the entire script is about Margret going after his family, and his family trying to kill all the humans for really no good reason at all. We need to see more decision making; but they need to be decisions that are mulled over a long period of time throughout the film, like a moral dilemma. At the moment this film doesn’t really say much about life- and I fear that it with the wrong directing it will turn really cheese, really quickly. However, tighten up the script a little bit, give the characters a little bit more to fight for (a moral dilemma), and I think this script could have potential. I think you should also decide whether its going to be serious or if its going to be a comedy. It could easily fall down the spoof category with that kind of directing (a bit like, say, the difference between ‘Scream’ and ‘Scary Movie.’) I really do think it has potential. I think some of your characters really work well together and bounce off one another. I particularly enjoy the dialogue between Sharon and Richard when they talk about Kyle- and Kyle himself is a great character with some really amusing lines.
LilyDrummond
Lily Drummond 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Brother Margaret feature
Genre: Action/Adventure
On the night of a blood moon, an undead monk comes to a shopping mall to revenge himself upon his vampiric kin.
LilyDrummond
Lily Drummond 4 years ago

just joined ScriptMother!