Well done Cyle, I really enjoyed "Alternative", it was a fresh, interesting screenplay. There are just some things to note however. The first thing is that your Scene Headings are mostly not written correctly. So you have to fix most of your Scene Headings. For example, INT. - BASEMENT, NIGHT, should in turn be INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT. Further, they should always include the time of day (either DAY or NIGHT). For example INT. - BASEMENT should be INT. BASEMENT - DAY or INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT. And the location should only be two words, not INT. - DINING AREA, FAST FOOD RESTAURANT. On page 51 EXT. - CITY, EVENING, should just be EXT. CITY - NIGHT. Also there should be at least a sentence after the scene heading, for the location director. On page 25 in your screenplay, don't include include quotation marks in the dialogue when JOSH says "The Deman" as well as on page 26 "Queen Gwyneth!". Further is Deman meant to be spelt Demon? In your screenplay, it is very noticeable that the characters swear a lot which is not encouraged by producers and executives. Additionally, in your screenplay there should be no numbers in digit form, unless you write e.g. 1917. Otherwise on pages such as page 30 change "4 in the morning", to four in the morning. Also in your screenplay change "10 in the morning" to ten in the morning. Also one exclamation is plenty, do not use more than one for example on page 32 change when RICHARD says Fuck!!! to just Fuck!. This is also evident on page 40 twice, amongst other pages. In your screenplay on page 41 and 53 and other pages ensure (cont'd) is in CAPS. Further, on page 10 of the screenplay "What did I ever do to you?!" should instead be " What did I ever do to you!". On page 49 change 'FEMALE NEWS REPORTER ON TV' to just 'FEMALE NEWS REPORTER'. And remove the '(Printed with the demonstration version of Fade In)' in the header. On page 4, WOMAN ON TV is never mentioned in the scene description - characters must always first be mentioned in the scene description in CAPS. And instead of writing dialogue words in CAPS, underline the words instead. Otherwise, I enjoyed your scene descriptions, they were quite succinct and engaging. The concept and story were very original and fresh.
