Purveyor of the finest magical beans. Enjoys genre-bending, fantasy, and science fiction.
I had fun with your first fifteen pages because you have a clear grasp of the style of film you're making, calling on a comic action vernacular that is reminiscent of films in the early 2000s. (Shoot 'em Up, Underworld, The Spirit) I have outlined some technical errors below because I think it is important to separate feedback into chunks: Mechanics, Story. I hope in this way you can take and apply the feedback that resonates and ignore the ones that don't. STORY: I suggest naming your protagonist. Unless this is a style choice. He can remain a nameless acronym or a stranger if the reveal is crucial to the telling of the story, but in its current stage, he feels like a masked rapscallion. and we need to know him, even if just to get an idea of who he is, what he wants. To that end, the dialogue feels very much like these characters know each other, and their world, but say things in such a way that it feels solely for our benefit. Here is where I would go back and define for yourself clearly their wants, intentions, and obstacles. If each character in a scene wants something opposing the other, this can be micro not just macro-level stuff, there will be a sense of conflict driving the dialogue and action. In its current form, there is a fair bit of Dragon Ball Z - like showboating. A good technique would be to try and have three things going on in every scene. Unless this is an animated film in which case take a look at the technical notes below and take my thoughts with much salt.
Kal, a solitary thief, stumbles to find her place in a city ruled by crime. When destiny hurtles her toward a powerful wizard, and a barbarian with a dangerous secret, three rapscallions must band together to navigate a silent coup set in motion by an ancient evil.
Tattoo artist by day and warding witch by night, Adeline Severance leads a dangerous, magical double live. When a mysterious stranger blows her cover story, Adeline has two choices: Run Or fight.