Is the Concept strong/original?
Yes, and it's a concept that I think will engage a wide range of people (primarily males 22+ I'm guessing?). To give some background, I'm British, 24 years old and growing up I was really into WWE so reading this is definitely tapping into that element of nostalgia. But that's not to say you're eliminating other age groups/genders, because it's common knowledge that wrestling is fake, but we've all pondered what life would be like if it was real! So you've taken a relatable concept and thought and imagined an entirely different world. In that sense I see this akin to "The Boys", which imagines a world in which superheroes exist but are corrupt.
Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader?
Yes - by the 10th page you've provided an introduction to this new world, set the ground rules for it and introduced us to the main character - The Beaker. You've also introduced the obstacle for this episode - Beaker's opponent (Kid Destiny). I guess my only possible improvement would be to possibly bring/end the introduction of that "obstacle" by the 10th pages. I've my work into a competition before, in which they only read the first ten pages in the first round. So I've kinda taken that as an unofficial rule, to make those first ten pages as eventful, impactful as possible. Of course, you set up that "obstacle", but require page 11 to explain it. Maybe it's worth trying to condense it down so it is fully introduced at the end of page 10. It could also be a better way of presenting that twist, it could be more impactful if it was short and snappy. Personally, I feel that it gets a bit dragged out as it goes on and consequently the situation loses some of its gravity. But this is at odds with the great dialogue here, I can totally imagine this conversation happening "Behind the scenes" in WWE.
Are scenes well-written?
As mentioned above, I think you've done a great job of recreating that WWE/exaggerated style of communication. Naturally, this leads to an entertaining read. Each character already has quite a unique voice. I think throughout you've kept to the "unoffical" rule of 2/3 lines of dialogue per character to keep it short and snappy. But, as mentioned above, I think at times the line is crossed between explaining the backstory and going into more detail. I think there are parts that can be omitted for the sake of pace, and this'll help add to the intrigue. For example, bottom section on page 13 if I was watching that, I could infer that Ginger Lee was impatient from the tapping of her foot. I could also sense that their relationship isn't as close because they're sat a seat apart. So, you could get rid of the build up text and simply have Kid Destiny say "Stop with the tapping. I've finally made it...", which is the important point that you were trying to make because that's what adds to the character. Of course, as I've said before, the writing style is deliberately over-exaggerated, but I think adding more elements of intrigue would make it more sustainable as a show. If I've not mentioned it before, I really enjoyed reading this and I'd really enjoy watching it. But I think something that would stop me watching a whole season of it is that everything is handed to me on a plate, rather than requiring some inference.
Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough?
Beaker has an underdog vibe to him that is compelling. You've done a great job of creating a character that is morally conflicted, whose actions are unfair but I'm still on his side! You've established a further layer to him, an emotional one, that I'm sure will be explored further in future episodes. You've also established a motive for the antagonist, which I liked (and was a theatrical one that fits into this world perfectly).
Is the conflict real/genuine?
For this world, it is. But I don't think the conflict is going to just be The Beaker Vs Jamal. Based off Ginger's betrayal (And chemistry with Beaker) I imagine the genuine conflict will be between these two? They've already become accomplices, but I think given their ambition and drive both characters are bound to conflict with each other eventually, which I see as the true conflict in this story. This is an assumption, so it might not be the plan, but I think it's worth considering. Like I said before, this one dimensional conflict between Beaker and Jamal could get a bit stale over a whole season, so it might be worth considering.
Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader?
Yes, of course you could predict the ending but the interesting thing was seeing how he overcame the obstacle. Personally, I didn't see Ginger's betrayal, but once it happened I had that "Ah I should've seen that coming moment" which is a good sign because it means it falls within the constraints of the characters you've created. You also did a great job with setting it up for the next episode and creating another obstacle to overcome. Thoughts are already racing in my head about what will happen (will the medical examiner pick up the drug etc). I really liked this because it moved away from this WWE/theatrical bubble but stayed in it at the same time? For instance, I thought they would've gotten away with it and then we would've seen Jamal reacting with anger/introducing another challenge. But the fact that this happened organically was great and exactly what I think is needed.
Overall
Really enjoyed this. Didn't pick up on any spelling/consistency errors. Excited to see where this would go. Main improvement would be adding in that further element of intrigue, so the reader can draw inferences from how the character is behaving. But this is a balancing act with the theatrical/WWE writing style that already exists. I think if you could flit between both, that would be the perfect balance because right now it's heavily skewed to that theatrical side. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I do think there’s a reason I stopped watching WWE as a 10 year old.
