Kenny Athelstan

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Kenny Athelstan just claimed a review for a script.
10 hours ago
TRUE LOVE IS TO DIE FOR feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Romance
Logline: When a serial killer inexplicably saves a suicidal man she intended to kill, she decides to train him into the art of being a serial killer to give his life some form of meaning.
Kenny Athelstan just claimed a review for a script.
1 week ago
New York State of Mind feature
Genre: Crime,Mystery/Suspense,Thriller
Logline: A Midwestern woman starting her dream job in NYC, finds herself the main suspect in a killing spree, that includes her snobby co-workers.
Kenny Athelstan completed a review for
1 month ago
The Nature of Secrets feature
Genre: Drama,Romance
Review Rating:

Action lines and dialogue combine to show a story to the reader/audience. Your actions lines are long and clunky. Your dialogue is 99% unuseable. These two combined tell an extremely dull fractured story, that unfortunately lacks any kind of imagination. A script can get away with different styles of written action if the dialogue is good, and the scenes flow, laying out a story for the viewer. This does not. Because the actions lines are bad, and the dialogue is worse, it is agony to read. An example. Near the end of the script, Lily is shocked hearing about the accident and how her father died. She goes through this monologue "Mom barely spoke of him... she'd change the subject or shut down". Idunn never spoke of Will. How about Olivia? Her Aunts? If she truly cared, she'd have found out. Because no one here has a conflict with her. Olivia gives Lily a portfolio of Will's work. "It was your father's. I've been meaning to give it to you for a while." Why didn't she? Where's Lily's excitement that this is her dead father's photos, that she's seeing for the first time? Barely turning a page, she finds the perfect photo. Just this little scene, while the thought behind the action is fine, the execution of it is forced and unnatural. There isn't one scene in this that doesn't read exactly the same. On-the-nose dialogue, where the character says exactly what's on their mind, in the most simple direct way, should be used sparingly. Your dialogue is a mixture of on-the-nose and dialogue that has place in a script. All of your characters speak exactly the same way, mundane and typical of real-life boring people. The overwhelming majority of your dialogue is forbidden in produced screenplays. This is not an easy fix screenplay. You don't seem to understand the basics of structure. Lily is your protagonist. Yet she has no conflict or goal. We should know both before we head into Act Two. My sincere advice is to read some books on screenwriting. You need to learn the basics. Rewatch some films you love. Instead of just watching, breakdown what you learn from each scene either visually or verbally. Good Luck.

Kenny Athelstan just claimed a review for a script.
1 month ago
The Nature of Secrets feature
Genre: Drama,Romance
Logline: After the death of her mother, Lily learns of the star-crossed relationship between her mother and the father she never knew.
Kenny Athelstan just claimed a review for a script.
8 months ago
Again to Love feature
Genre: Romance,Drama
Logline: A college foreign exchange student unintentionally gets involved in a love triangle between two exes and must decide to let her feelings be known, or let them get back together.
Kenny Athelstan just claimed a review for a script.
9 months ago
DEMANDING VOICES feature
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
Logline: After an insane asylum patient witnesses his revered psychiatrist murdering fellow patients, he battles the voices in his head to convince someone in the sane world he's not hallucinating before more patients are murdered, including himself and his pregnant, patient girlfriend.
Kenny Athelstan just claimed a review for a script.
9 months ago
Speaking To The Dead feature
Genre: Drama,Horror,Mystery/Suspense
Logline: A young girl, devastated by her mother's murder, works with her spirit to bring her killer to justice, before anyone else dies.

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Crime
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Thriller
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