Good idea, the roommate idea is quite popular with sitcoms, but the script and the writing wasn't strong enough. Concept was okay, but didn't play out well in the story. Spelling errors on the very first page and the jokes felt forced, especially in the flashback scene. Characters were underdeveloped, no introductions given, and RJ and Clementine's attraction towards each other seemed to come out of nowhere. Romance has to come naturally, between two characters who compel you to put them together, even if it's something you never thought of. Think of your favorite show and the relationships - there's drama, right? On again-off again, fights and make-ups, moments where they hate each other but also moments where they don't want to be around anyone else but each other? Stephen King said that he lets his characters talk to him and lead their way through his novels. You'll come across other writers who will tell you the same, me included. The dialogue was forced and spelling consisted of something one might use in text messages (i.e.. hehehehe, wazzup). If this was to be sold, this would be a huge turnoff for any professional agent or writer. Let the dialogue come naturally. Think of how you talk to your family, friends. Be sure to make the dialogue consistent with each character as well. Make sure each character is fully developed and has their own personality, and stick to it for the whole story. Once each character is developed, it will come easily, so easily you'll hear them speaking each line as you type it out. Consider going back and taking a look at TV scripts from your favorite sitcom to get an idea of formatting, dialogue and character development and relationships. I also recommend professional writing software to help format, keep track of ideas and characters and ensure spelling errors are eliminated. These have helped me immensely.
