E Hamilton
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EHamilton
E Hamilton 3 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Tears of a Clown feature
Genre: Action/Adventure,Romance
A surly fighter tries to shake-off a headstrong dancer he rescues from the street but in a twist of fortune, comes to depend upon her for survival.

EHamilton
E Hamilton 3 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Out Of Love feature
Genre: Drama,Romance
A future love story about a man who loses his wife and slowly falls in love with a girl from another state.

EHamilton
E Hamilton 3 years ago

completed a review for

Soul Power feature
Genre: Drama
Rating: 20%
At first I was confused and a bit surprised that this passed first fifteen because the formatting is lacking in a major way. The cover page doesn't have the title nor does it have your name, so you'll want to fix that. The next part is you have action in the dialogue column for example: " CONNIE (CONT'D) Maybe (to the other boys You all need to go straight home if you can make it. Please don't do anything. I know how you feel, but the police- HOWARD The cops ain't gonna help my old man guard his store (sprints out of the auditorium) STOCK FOOTAGE OF NATIONAL NEWSCASTER OPENING THE EVENING NEWS with bulletin about King's murder. Montage of Black Bostonians or their families watching in horror in their homes or listening on WILD RADIO in homes, streets, or places of work." - the way you've sort of meshed this all together is extremely confusing and it's hard to get through. But the dialogue and characters are there I'm just having a hard time following them because the structure and formatting of dialogue. I'm not trying to be harsh but I can only assume that whoever approved the first fifteen was also not aware of the correct formatting. You're also lacking transitions and slug lines. My advice would be to google how to format or use a template from your screenwriting software or if you have not purchase screenwriting software than you should because the formatting has to be corrected before one can even begin to full get into the story.

EHamilton
E Hamilton 3 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Soul Power feature
Genre: Drama
The Night James Brown Saved Boston

EHamilton
E Hamilton 3 years ago

completed a review for

A Happy Home television
Genre: Family,Drama,Comedy
Rating: 80%
I don't have much of a critique and I'm sorry if this bothers you when I compare it to things I've watched or read but this honestly reminds me of a more in depth and obviously black version of Full House. It's very current as far as dialogue and language goes. There are a few typos in the beginning like in the description column you wrote Cara leaves the children and I think you mean't Cara leaves the room, also in the teaser you said "outside the luxurious style" and maybe you mean't home or estate??? and there's a few others and I'm sure after a proof read you'll catch them, all of the typos are easy fixes. My favorite character so far is Selena because she was the main focus of the episode but I'm equally interested in the others as well like Faline, Seiana, etc., and I'm also curious about this Derrick character. I know he's dead but he sounds like a very interesting husband and father but not in a good way. There's a certain hint of ominous about this script it reads kind of like a mystery than dark but it's only episode one so maybe the dark part hasn't come in yet. Overall I think the dialogue between the characters is very realistic and it does give off a family vibe. Seiana and Sanaa seem like really good moms and I'm already rooting for the love to develop between Seiana and Domenico! Also Sanaa and Antonio. Not so sure about Faline and this Jaiceano character though he seems like a player and I've definitely had a few Amarie's in my lifetime as I'm sure others have so I'm excited to see where this series goes and more about all the characters and exploring their relationships with one another. Lastly I enjoyed the interrogation scene that Faline and Selena put Domenico through, I hope he passes!

EHamilton
E Hamilton 3 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

A Happy Home television
Genre: Family,Drama,Comedy
A lighthearted yet dark family drama about a "widow" whose sister and best friend move in with her to help her raise her three daughters.

EHamilton
E Hamilton 3 years ago

completed a review for

Reconstruction television
Genre: History,Drama
Rating: 33%
I don't have much of a critique, there's as much dialogue as there is description but luckily all of it can be shot so it's not misplaced or miswritten I should say. I would suggest just maybe cutting it down some otherwise it takes forever to get to the dialogue and it ends up dragging the story. I would also suggest maybe playing around with the title or changing it all together, Reconstruction is kind of a blah title it doesn't really stand out to be honest. The main thing that stood out is that you are lacking transitions; DISSOLVE TO:, CUT TO:, etc. These should be before the slug lines; INT., EXT., POV., and also just making sure you're picking the correct slug lines for each scene. The next thing is just working on dialogue and character development since this is a time piece and the language is intentionally outdated you have to be creative in how it's written and make sure that it flows while also making the audience interested in the characters and at this point even though your characters like David has been through rather traumatic ordeals i.e. slavery, they lack depth. It reads almost as if this comes from biased perspective or how one thinks a slave talked and acted back then, almost like a parody and the dialogue when the freed enslaved are speaking sounds mocking with the overuse of "allelulias" and there appears to be an apparent white savior complex in the beginning with David and Walker or at least I assume David is Black and Walker is white by David calling him sir and Walker using the slur pickaninny I can only guess since the only real description you gave was to the character Alice, so that's the last thing just going back and adding character descriptions. Oh and if it's a TV series you'll want to put the episode list and reoccurring characters at the bottom of the page. Good luck!

EHamilton
E Hamilton 3 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Reconstruction television
Genre: History,Drama
At the end of the Civil War, politicians, soldiers, and freed slaves must reckon with a new world order, charting new paths against the still-powerful forces of racial and partisan animus.

EHamilton
E Hamilton 3 years ago

completed a review for