cjc Hinds

cjc H.

Ranking
Fade In
Reviewer Rating
N/A
Scripts
2
Reviews
1
Scripts
feature

196.14 Draft #2

Sign In to see % Rating
A comedy-drama set in a Years and Years type future
Reviews
Following
Activity
cjcHinds
cjc Hinds 4 years ago

completed a review for

Lonely Boys short
Genre: Drama,Mystery/Suspense
Rating: 47%
There is little to none character development, to make people connect with the characters make it half an hour , the parents are two dimensional, and I think that the child should not see the news report, so no-one is any the wiser, and anyway children don't watch the news. You should make some scenes from the point of Izzy, make it look like a Tim Burton short and add a narrator at the start and find your target audience. I know that this is normally longer, but I think that this will be just as helpful, in a fraction of a time. Get reviews until people just start nit-picking, and it should be great. Okay, so, I have to use four hundred words, so . . . You should put some music in it, and make more scenes with the boy interacting with Izzy, and score not soundtrack . . . and that is only . . . one hundred and forty nine, so I guess give the parents a bigger role or cut them entirely, like Charlie Brown, the thing with him being bullied is unnecessary and kind of a cliche so leave that out … and that is one hundred and eighty seven, so make sure that your target customer is big enough that they can support, but small enough that big corporations don't have to take control, and that is two hundred and something, so do you mind if I copy and paste this paragraph? If you want more advice contact me. There is little to none character development, to make people connect with the characters make it half an hour , the parents are two dimensional, and I think that the child should not see the news report, so no-one is any the wiser, and anyway children don't watch the news. You should make some scenes from the point of Izzy, make it look like a Tim Burton short and add a narrator at the start and find your target audience. I know that this is normally longer, but I think that this will be just as helpful, in a fraction of a time. Get reviews until people just start nit-picking, and it should be great. Okay, so, I have to use four hundred words, so . . . You should put some music in it, and make more scenes with the boy interacting with Izzy, and score not soundtrack . . . and that is only . . . one hundred and forty nine, so I guess give the parents a bigger role or cut them entirely, like Charlie Brown, the thing with him being bullied is unnecessary and kind of a cliche so leave that out … and that is one hundred and eighty seven, so make sure that your target customer is big enough that they can support, but small enough that big corporations don't have to take control, and that is two hundred and something, so do you mind if I copy and paste this paragraph? If you want more advice contact me.
cjcHinds
cjc Hinds 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Lonely Boys short
Genre: Drama,Mystery/Suspense
A bullied boy finds solace talking to the girl next door, unaware that something sinister is happening over the garden fence.
cjcHinds
cjc Hinds 4 years ago

uploaded a script.

196.14 feature
Genre: Comedy,Drama,Thriller
A comedy-drama set in a Years and Years type future
cjcHinds
cjc Hinds 4 years ago

just joined ScriptMother!