First of all, I'm a beginner at this and I think art is subjective. I will give my opinion but this can and will certainly vary from someone elses. My opinion doesn't mean this screenplay is bad or good in general, but reflects my view on it.
'Chain Letter' feels a bit like one of those classic horror movies with the usual clichés, but it has great potential, of that I'm sure.
The concept fits in this age and makes you think twice before deleting those irritating chain mails.
The story starts strong with an immediate gruesome murder. I immediately started to ask myself questions: 'Who is Chain Link? What drives him to do this? What happened in his past? What is Chain Link's story?', which means that you have caught my attention.
There's an interesting mix of characters who are well developed. You immediately know what kind of person it is the moment they're introduced. The officers duo has great potential. 'Chain Link' Intrigues me. I want to know his backstory (just a tip for this: try to make people feel bad for him, give the audience mixed feelings).
The dialogue is fluent and doesn't feel forced (except for the cheerleading moment in the videochat, but that's a personal opinion).
My biggest note I have is that it's too fast paced. Rylie gets the mail shortly after she and Jennifer were texting (I assume this since she didn't mention anything about it while texting Jennifer earlier that day) and deletes it. She informs Jennifer and Jackson and a few minutes later, Chain Link is already in her house ready to kill her. This seems a bit fast. Does he hide in the neighbourhood? Does he pick his victims, makes sure he's in the neighbourhood and then sends them the chain mail? Maybe this will become clear when I can read the full script.
Like I said, 'CHAIN LETTER' looks like a classic, but this isn't a bad thing. Be careful of the clichés and use them to bring a lot of twists to the story.
This screenplay is written by someone who obviously has talent. I think it has great potential and would love to read the complete screenplay.
