Amari Russell

Stock Character
Favorite Genres:
Drama
Sci-Fi
Action

Reviewer Rating:
Scripts: 2
Reviews: 5

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Recent Activity

Amari Russell uploaded a script.
7 months ago
The Patient short
Genre: Drama
Logline: A distressed therapist comes home only to be captured by one of his former patients.
Amari Russell just claimed a review for a script.
7 months ago
Wonderfully Made short
Genre: Romance,Family
Logline: A girl nervously gets ready for a date and has to remember that it's what on the inside that counts.
Amari Russell completed a review for
7 months ago
The Importance of Being Perfect short
Genre: Drama
Review Rating:

I think this is a good story and it really touches on how OCD affects the people you're close with which is family in this case. It shows how in the end they will always be there for each other even through tough times. I would recommend creating a bit more conflict. You could probably try Abed stopping Ali from fixing the forks and Ali just gets enraged and goes on a rant saying harsh things to Abed. Try to add more tension when Ali and Abed when Ali goes into his OCD. As I was reading it, I was getting the sense that Abed doesn't know about his OCD. Maybe you can reveal that Ali has OCD in the end which will make Abed more understanding of why Ali does the things that he does. A couple of things formatting-wise, first, you have too much description and they're in big chunks. They have to be shortened and separated into smaller paragraphs. Try not to be so specific. We as the audience will see everything. The script is a blueprint for how you guide our vision. What do you want us to see and how do you want us to see it? Try not to write in present progressive unless you have to. "He is getting ready" can be changed to "He gets ready". You also have the voiceover ends on the first page. You can omit that. The reader can tell it's over, you don't have to write it. There are some pieces of dialogue that can be cut too. I use to love just letting my characters loose and talking about whatever for however but we can't do that. Dialogue has to either make the character feel uncomfortable or reveal something. If it doesn't one of those two, it probably needs to be cut.

Amari Russell just claimed a review for a script.
7 months ago
The Importance of Being Perfect short
Genre: Drama
Logline: A man who tries to be as perfect as possible in his life has trouble keeping his relationship with his younger brother.
Amari Russell completed a review for
8 months ago
Amari Russell just claimed a review for a script.
8 months ago
Anima short
Genre: Drama
Logline: A struggling young man comes to a realization about life.
Amari Russell just purchased a review. Claim it here
8 months ago
Pianola feature
Genre: Drama
Logline: A young pianist at a prestigious university struggles with traumatic events on his path to becoming the greatest musician of all time.
Amari Russell completed a review for
8 months ago
Quit short
Genre: Drama,Family
Review Rating:

Well, to start off you did a good job considering the limitations of only being able to use three pages. A couple of things formatting-wise, when you're introducing a character their names have to be in all caps. The way you used parentheticals is okay but it's not really necessary. It can be used as an action line if you really need to have that in the story. For the most part, parentheticals are only needed when there's a group of people and the reader can know who's talking to who. On page one, where you have Finn speaks faintly. You can leave that out. You had a nice touch with Finn's dialogue when he says' Everyone else wa-' and Cillian interrupts him. That really makes the dialogue natural. When Finn says "Everyone else was going for it", I think doing it sounds better. When Cillian says " after what you've seen it do", I think a better way to word it would be after you've seen what it can do or after what you've seen. You also have him say 'fuckin' before Ethan. Maybe you can replace it with something else or take it out. On the second page where you have Cillian appears understanding, I think another way you word it is Cillian appears to understand but it doesn't last long when his worried state comes back into fluorescence. A good way to challenge yourself as a writer is to avoid words ending with -ing. You'll give better descriptions. I think you have a grammar mistake when Finn says' Dad was fine with me", I think that's supposed to be Dad was fine to me. Story-wise, it was well executed and had good dialogue.

Amari Russell just claimed a review for a script.
8 months ago
Quit short
Genre: Drama,Family
Logline: A student picks up his younger brother from school and discovers his dark secret.
Amari Russell completed a review for
8 months ago