The film is very abstract and very cryptic. Though there is a lot of imagery and symbolism (such as the angel losing its wings as well as the continuous feeling of time running out), there is a lack of concrete theme in the screenplay. The dialogue is well-written and I especially enjoyed the last line; "Hush now, my son. It's already twelve. The end has come". Despite this, I came out of the screenplay empty-handed, having not absorbed any concrete theme, story or moral lesson through its telling. Had the film been more direct in its purpose, the abstractness of the screenplay would have paid off. However, because the story is very loose and obscure, the artistic obscurity feels forced. Overall, the film felt as if it was abstract for abstract's sake and there wasn't a moment in which I felt the desire to see this story on a screen. Though there was a lack of characterization, the screenplay still got me to stick around until the end due to the impending promise of the "worms". This was a great plot device in order to create suspense and anticipation. It fell short, however, as the worms never made an appearance nor contributed to the narrative in any way other than killing the wife (which felt like a back-handed slap to the face and only left me confused).
The screenwriter did an excellent job of building suspense and the climax was very clear, well-written and effective. The use of sounds really contributed to the payoff at the end (with the thud and the baby crying) and I could imagine the entire sequence in my head. The screenwriter does a good job of doing exactly that: writing for the screen. The screenplay was told cinematically, as all screenplays should be. Despite this, it lacked an intriguing story. While reading, I could definitely imagine the story playing out in my head, but I did not find that it is a story worth telling. It simply lacked meaning, settling for experimental obscurity over engaging story and meaningful theme.
To the screenwriter, I say keep writing every day as your writing abilities are impressive but keep working on your storytelling skills as the overall concept and execution of the story is rather uninspiring. Overall, the screenplay is well-written in technical and cinematic terms. The story is creative and original as well. Keep searching for new source material and continue to implement your cinematic writing style into everything you do.
