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#Sci-Fi/Fantasy #Drama

In a world where a unique form of time travel exists for usage by the general public, a depressed young man sends himself back in time in order to address his past regrets and make a better life for himself.

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Summary

2 Reviews | 65 pages | 1 year ago | Draft 1
Time travel exists. A company called Quantumech allows the general public to take part in Switching, sending your consciousness back in time to an all new timeline and living out the rest of your life in your new past. Jake Tanner, a 24 year old suffering from depression and the constant "What if's" of life decides to send himself back to address his biggest regret. But a Switch gone wrong leads to unintended consequences and now Jake has to traverse a timeline that he isn't prepared for.

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Peer Reviews

A very well written story with an innovative concept.

The story begins with siblings Jake and Carly. Jake is stuck with his past and is struggling to move on. He reaches a point where nothing is going his way. He decides to travel back in time to that point when he was his happiest self. Carly and Kelly, Jake's girl friend try talking him out of it but Jake is too stubborn to change his mind.
Gavin, a security person at Quantumech, is going t...
I think the immediate fix to this script would be to take a closer look at your characters and more closely define who they are. This should allow you to have the characters drive the story forward so it feels less like “and then this happened and then this” and like “this happened because of this”. I’d also cut anything that doesn’t clearly serve the plot which should become clearer once the plot is driven by the characters.

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