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#Drama

By Christian Hobdy

A man begins to have visions when a old friend of his dies.

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Approved

Summary

1 Reviews | 38 pages | 3 years ago | Draft 2

##pilot ##mystery ##drama

A man begins to have visions when an old friend of his dies and tries to figure out what happens.

**(Just starting out looking for feedback to know how I can improve.)

Industry Reviews

No Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

Good start which needs a polish. With some meatier foreshadowing, this could be a great hook of a pilot.

This is a good start!! With some slight additions / tweaks, it could move from formulaic to engrossing.

Stuart Haag

Very, very raw, but with the right edits and adjustments, it can have potential...

So this script is not a promising look into someone else's story idea. The formatting, while attempting to recreate what a screenplay looks like, it's pretty clear that you went into word and tried to format from there. Get a screenwriting software like Writerduet or StudioBinder or FinalDraft. It'll make it easier for a reader to read through and help you with your formatting. Aside from that, work on your characters, structure and dialogue, and...

Marlon Schwiersch

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Finding television

Sign In to see % Rating

#Drama

Awards

Approved

Summary

Industry Reviews

No Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

This is a good start!! With some slight additions / tweaks, it could move from formulaic to engrossing.

Stuart Haag

Marlon Schwiersch

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A group of piped out musicians start a band together to start their careers back up again and make it big.

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After the untimely death of her parents, an avid partier, Lana, must take over as the head of the family and, more importantly, become the CEO of her family's multimillion-pound business. It's hard to be a woman with power, it's harder to keep it.

The Nocturnals

When supernatural students start being murdered on a college campus, a pair siblings fight to protect themselves and other supernaturals, while also running from their inescapable fates.

BlogMother

MAIN MENU

Finding television

Sign In to see % Rating

#Drama

Awards

Approved

Summary

Industry Reviews

No Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

This is a good start!! With some slight additions / tweaks, it could move from formulaic to engrossing.

Stuart Haag

Marlon Schwiersch

Recommended for You

Borderline

A group of piped out musicians start a band together to start their careers back up again and make it big.

CEO

After the untimely death of her parents, an avid partier, Lana, must take over as the head of the family and, more importantly, become the CEO of her family's multimillion-pound business. It's hard to be a woman with power, it's harder to keep it.

The Nocturnals

When supernatural students start being murdered on a college campus, a pair siblings fight to protect themselves and other supernaturals, while also running from their inescapable fates.

BlogMother

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