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#Drama

By Christian Hobdy

A man begins to have visions when a old friend of his dies.

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Summary

1 Reviews | 38 pages | 3 years ago | Draft 2

##pilot ##mystery ##drama

A man begins to have visions when an old friend of his dies and tries to figure out what happens.

**(Just starting out looking for feedback to know how I can improve.)

Industry Reviews

No Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

Good start which needs a polish. With some meatier foreshadowing, this could be a great hook of a pilot.

This is a good start!! With some slight additions / tweaks, it could move from formulaic to engrossing.

Stuart Haag

Very, very raw, but with the right edits and adjustments, it can have potential...

So this script is not a promising look into someone else's story idea. The formatting, while attempting to recreate what a screenplay looks like, it's pretty clear that you went into word and tried to format from there. Get a screenwriting software like Writerduet or StudioBinder or FinalDraft. It'll make it easier for a reader to read through and help you with your formatting. Aside from that, work on your characters, structure and dialogue, and...

Marlon Schwiersch

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Finding television

Sign In to see % Rating

#Drama

Awards

Approved

Summary

Industry Reviews

No Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

This is a good start!! With some slight additions / tweaks, it could move from formulaic to engrossing.

Stuart Haag

Marlon Schwiersch

Recommended for You

Fishtail

When his little sister’s boyfriend insists on joining his heist crew, a getaway driver realizes that he has to get blood on his hands to keep them both alive when things go wrong.

Deity

A headstrong biochemist must survive an island-wide physics/genetic experiment, while a group of flamboyant musicians on the mainland must survive the ongoing consequences of that experiment.

Legacy

After the sudden death of his estranged father, a young man is thrust into a new world he doesn’t fully understand while struggling with his identity and his relationship with his father.

BlogMother

MAIN MENU

Finding television

Sign In to see % Rating

#Drama

Awards

Approved

Summary

Industry Reviews

No Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

This is a good start!! With some slight additions / tweaks, it could move from formulaic to engrossing.

Stuart Haag

Marlon Schwiersch

Recommended for You

Fishtail

When his little sister’s boyfriend insists on joining his heist crew, a getaway driver realizes that he has to get blood on his hands to keep them both alive when things go wrong.

Deity

A headstrong biochemist must survive an island-wide physics/genetic experiment, while a group of flamboyant musicians on the mainland must survive the ongoing consequences of that experiment.

Legacy

After the sudden death of his estranged father, a young man is thrust into a new world he doesn’t fully understand while struggling with his identity and his relationship with his father.

BlogMother

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