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#Drama

By Christian Hobdy

A man begins to have visions when a old friend of his dies.

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Summary

1 Reviews | 38 pages | 3 years ago | Draft 2
##pilot ##mystery ##drama
A man begins to have visions when an old friend of his dies and tries to figure out what happens.



**(Just starting out looking for feedback to know how I can improve.)

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Good start which needs a polish. With some meatier foreshadowing, this could be a great hook of a pilot.
This is a good start!! With some slight additions / tweaks, it could move from formulaic to engrossing.
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Very, very raw, but with the right edits and adjustments, it can have potential...
So this script is not a promising look into someone else's story idea. The formatting, while attempting to recreate what a screenplay looks like, it's pretty clear that you went into word and tried to format from there. Get a screenwriting software like Writerduet or StudioBinder or FinalDraft. It'll make it easier for a reader to read through and help you with your formatting. Aside from that, work on your characters, structure and dialogue, and...
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