This story lacks structure. Perhaps consider thinking in terms of set up (where we meet Christos, and possibly his ex), then an inciting incident (where Christos gets dumped), a midpoint (where Christos must make some kind of choice) and a good climax (where he confronts his ex, trying to get her back, perhaps). These are just some suggestions. As it stands, the story feels a little random. A guy walks down some path, calls out to God, coincident...
Nikolette(Niko) who’s is a daddies girl, is involved in a tough situation. She meets a friend, Korey, who suddenly has a condition Nikolette(Niko) helps him overcome while struggling to get something that belongs to her.
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