You’ve got a fantastic original voice and an inventive mind. The script was consistently surprising and entertaining, and wild and weird at times. But to ground it all and engage the audience it needs to concentrate on the protagonist and their arc. As the saying goes, character is story. So why does this godhead happen to Cherry? Why is she the perfect type of person to get this gift? Does she have to control her rage in order to be worthy of th...

1 year ago | read more...

Here were my thoughts on your script:

1. Concept - I thought it was interesting that you went with people who get worms or black vines almost as like a power of some sort. Definitely a concept that can be done in a variety of ways.

2. Story - The story was decent, but the pacing was off. The beginning was slow and the ending felt rushed to me. Also, for being labeled as a comedy, I feel like it lacked the comedy for the most part aside from...

10 months ago | read more...

Gnarly Vines has follows an interesting take on cult culture, and The Father's extraterrestrial abilities emphasize how much control a leader has over their blind followers. The first ten pages would have drawn me in more if there weren't as many typos and lack of formatting. The script doesn't appear to be edited or looked over much.

The characters are somewhat one dimensional, and I am not emotionally connected to them. Because it is a...

10 months ago | read more...

Great script. Two half-sisters possessed by demons from another dimension fight each other with the world at stake is a very good concept. Setting the script during the Rodney King riots made the story original and even more interesting. The first act was thoroughly entertaining. It was paced well, set the genre perfectly and set up the story in a way that made you want to keep reading. Very easy read. The chemistry between Charlene and Raven was...

11 months ago | read more...

The writing is smooth and the language is well crafted. However, i believe that the script needs to find a lot more to be taken seriously. The title, t begin with is ridiculous and when we finally realise the import of it towards the climax, it turns out to be laugh out loud funny and ridiculous. I would seriously recommend reconsidering the title and the device used. Yes, it does fall in line with the 'vines and creepers' but it just not filmic...

1 year ago | read more...